Adventures in Living
by TionneDawnstar
Summary: Cloti, Yuffentine, CidxShera. Cloud gets a journal for his birthday, and starts writing about how important his friends really are to him. At the party, he gets the idea to share the pages with the whole group, and give them a chance to tell their story.
1. Cloud's Entry 1: Aerith

_**Adventures in Living**_

Hello, and welcome to my newest fanfic! I've been missing my Cloti story lately, since I finished it a while ago, I came up with this idea. I hope you all enjoy! The word in italics are journal entries, normal font is what's going on in the present. That will make more sense when you read on. It might end up being a bit drabblish at times, only because of the nature of the whole thing. It is a self-contained story though, and will definitely end up CloudxTifa. It's sort of a companion piece to "Puppy Love" since it surrounds birthdays, but there's no connection to it other then that. I totally don't own FF7… if I did, oh the pairings I'd make cannon! Oh, and I don't think this will have any sort of lemon in it, but if I end up changing the rating, I'll let ya'll know!

* * *

**Cloud's Entry 1: Aerith**

Cloud Strife stretched a bit as he sat up, glancing over at the clock. It was nine-thirty, which meant he'd really over slept, and he moved to get up and get dressed. He was vaguely aware that it was his birthday, it wasn't like he ever celebrated it or anything, but it really hit him full force when he saw a present on his desk, along with a note.

**Cloud,**

**For once, relax on your birthday. I'm taking care of your deliveries, and took the kids with me; we'll be back this afternoon. Enjoy the quiet and get ready for cake.**

**Tifa**

The swordsman felt a small smile come to his face as he sat down at his desk, running his fingers over the flat package. He wondered what was inside, and if he should wait for Tifa to get back to open it. He couldn't remember the last time he got a birthday present, so he decided to go ahead. His best friend wouldn't have left it there for him to see if she hadn't expected him to open it, right?

His fingers slipped under the paper and he pulled it back, a gratifying rip issuing from the package. The tiny smile remained and he removed all the wrapping, looking down at the book. It was truly beautiful, bound in black leather; his personal crest was embossed across the front. His fingers ran over the wolf head, then pulled the book open to the inside cover. He saw Tifa's neat script again; the date was printed, as well as the occasion.

**August 19****th****, Your Birthday**

**Cloud,**

**I've been told every hero needs to tell his story. Yours is one that I know you don't want to share, but I still think it needs telling. Use this journal to do that. Maybe after we're all gone, someone will find it, and learn from our triumphs and mistakes.**

**Tifa**

Cloud stared at the inscription for a few moments, before opening it to the first, lined and blank page, the gold leaf on the edges of the pages glinting a bit. He picked up his pen and sat there for a moment, thinking of how he wanted to do this. If he started in a traditional way, he just didn't think that would do justice to everything that happened, and yet, there were so many people and events that that sort of approach didn't seem to put the attention where it needed to be.

It was true, the people in the center of this story really should be the focus, and he was never really a man that stuck with tradition. He paused for a few moments, after deciding the best way to start would be at the beginning of the alphabet, because there was no person that was more important then the other. In careful, fluid strokes he wrote the first word in his birthday present… _Aerith_.

_I met Aerith at a time in my life when I didn't really know who I was. I knew my name was Cloud, and thought I was a SOLDIER, first class. She was a sweet, feminine girl that always put others first, but while she was near me, with me for many months, she never really knew me. I think, in some ways, she did, she had a gift for seeing past masks, but I was the reason Zack died, the man she's really loved, and I couldn't even remember him. She never should have gone with us, all I ever did was lie to her, and I never got the chance to tell her the truth. My other friends, they all forgave me, I was able to explain myself and look in their eyes so they knew I hadn't meant to do it… but not her._

_I'd watched the light fade from those emerald eyes, and still she had a small smile on her face, knowing the rest of us now had the chance to stop that murderer… her murderer. I left her there, in that cold, pristine city belonging to her ancestors, then we had to turn our backs and focus, her sacrifice would mean nothing if we didn't. Sometimes I'd see Tifa and Yuffie trying to consol each other, the way sisters did. We all knew the three of them had developed a tight bond, being the only women in a large group of men, and I desperately wanted to join them, but didn't. I knew that Aerith had feelings for me, she hinted to it a lot, but I wasn't really in the right mind to open up to anyone, and it wasn't until weeks after her passing that I finally found myself. I have no doubt that both she and Tifa worked together in the Lifestream to fix my damaged mind, but once Sephiroth was defeated, and the world was saved, the enormous weight of her death settled around me, and it was all I could do to move, and breathe… then I got sick._

_I know, if it hadn't been for her gentle pushes from the beyond, I would have died. If it had not been for her amazing powers to heal, I would have remained dead on the inside and the Geostigma would have taken me. I had it all planned out, to just die in the Church, the one place she'd never see again, but in reality, she must have known me better then I'd always thought. Deep down, I wanted to live. I wanted to be happy, and raise Denzel and Marlene, and read the paper with Tifa, and talk about deliveries. I wanted my family. And that damaged man I had been may have loved Aerith, but the whole me, the fixed me… I knew Tifa and I had a bond that was deep, and she would always be home to me. _

_Aerith knew this, she could see into my heart when she spoke to me, and still she never wanted anything for herself… she only wanted to heal me of the scars her death had left. When I nearly died after my second battle with Sephiroth, I knew that they were both there. My addled brain could process the fact that she wasn't alone. She was with Zack, the one I know she always wanted, and in return she wanted me because I was so very much like him. Just like I wanted her because my mind had concocted this story I was living through memories and stories Zack had told me, and he wanted me to protect her. My feelings for her, I don't know if they were mine, or Zack's, but when Tifa was there to guide through what had happened, I know it was Aerith that made it possible. And I'll always regret causing the two of them friction, because they loved each other like sisters. I'm just glad Yuffie's crush on me was fleeting and was directed on someone else not long after he joined our group, because if I'd caused the three of them to be angry at me, I would have been in for a world of hurt._

_Did I ever really love her? I did, just not in the way she probably wanted. Do I miss her? Every day, but it's getting easier to draw breath and not suffocate, and every time I see the kids smile and ask how my day was, every moment I'm alive and making sure I live to the fullest for her, the sadness drops away, a grain at a time. Do I wish it had been someone else that had died, I get asked that every so often, and I can honestly say "no." I wouldn't want to belittle her memory by making light of the sacrifice she made. She went there alone, knowing full well she may die, and I'm angry she didn't take someone with her, and I'm angry at myself that I wasn't strong enough to fight Sephiroth off at that point, but I know why she did it._

_She loved us, all of us, we were really the first family she had beside Elmyra, she loved her mother, and Midgar, and all the people there. She loved the planet, she could feel it's pain, and she was the only one who could cast Holy. She knew, her sacrifice would probably save everyone, and even within the Lifestream, she gathered a force to stop Meteor when Holy wasn't working. I know people look up to me as the hero that defeated Sephiroth, but when it comes down to it, she saved the planet. She should be the hero._

_Aerith was a purely good person, and the world is a worse place since her death. At least there is a world left who can mourn her, and it's all because of her sacrifice. I know, we'll meet again in the Lifestream, but she's made it quite clear I don't have a place there yet. So instead, I'll stay here and protect the planet and it's people in her stead, and I'll live the best way I know how. Thank you Aerith, you will always be with us._

_August 19_

The swordsman sighed softly and put the pen down, rubbing his hand over his face, and through his hair. That had been hard, putting his complicated feelings about the flower girl down on paper, but it felt good too. If Tifa were right, and many years from now someone found this journal, at least Aerith would never be forgotten. In fact, none of them would be forgotten, because he was going to record something about everyone. He closed the book and got up, heading toward the bathroom. He needed to start the day, even if he was supposed to be relaxing. He'd write another entry after her showered and ate something, then Tifa should get home, and for that, he was anxious. He felt a soft, familiar presence around him, followed by the soft scent of lilies, and he smiled a bit. "Thank you… for everything."


	2. Cloud's Entry 2: Barret

_**Adventures in Living**_

Welcome to the second installment of Adventures in Living. I think this is going to be pretty long, but I should be able to update a lot since they are going to be shorter chapters. Same rules apply! Please leave comments!

* * *

**Cloud's Entry 2: Barret**

Cloud finished his shower and grabbed a cereal bar from the kitchen, before heading back to his office. Usually the only time he sat at his desk was when he was working, so he took his pen and journal and moved downstairs, sitting in a booth near the window in the empty bar. This Seventh Heaven was so much nicer then the one in Midgar had been, Tifa had put a lot of time and effort making this into a place to be proud of. He smiled a bit at the next person on his list, thinking it a bit funny that he'd first met him in Seventh Heaven. He popped the cap off his pen and opened the book, flipping past the first entry.

_Barret_

_What is there really to say about Barret that he doesn't wear on his sleeve? He's passionate about making a future for his adopted daughter, and just as fervent about saving the planet. He's a good leader, but his heart often gets in the way of his head, causing rash decisions. We all knew that blowing up a reactor wouldn't really hurt Shinra, but he wanted to make a statement. We'd hurt a lot of people with our actions, especially when that bastard dropped the plate to try and force us out, killing so many in the process. I know there isn't a day that goes by that he doesn't feel that loss. There isn't a Sector Seven survivor that he doesn't have a hard time looking in the eye. Yes, Shinra Company should take the blame for it, and they have, but Barret still shoulders the guilt for it._

_That's what good leaders do, they take responsibility, even if it wasn't his direct actions that dropped the plate, he knows if he hadn't started with the eco-terrorism, those people would probably still be around…_

_For being so confrontational all the time, once you get to know Barret, he's the truest friend you can ask for. He will stick with you, even if your crazy, even if your sad, he'll be there to help when he can, and protect the people left, as some sort of penitence to the people lost in his efforts to take down Shinra, and in his support of that Company to begin with._

_He's lost as much as the rest of us, his family, and his best friend, all taken away. Sure it had been President Shinra who'd done it and not Sephiroth, but we were all in the same boat. We'd had precious people taken from us, our lives shattered, and he remained strong even when the rest of us were crumbling. He put things in perspective that no one else could, and he was misunderstood from the beginning._

_When I first met him, I didn't like him. He seemed so excitable and believed in this bigger thing. At that time, I only cared about money, I didn't want to think to much because if I did, things would come up that I didn't remember, or didn't fit, so I fought, got money to live, and stayed by the one person I knew. It took me some time to really see how much Barret was hurting, and how much he'd lost. He'd lost his wife and child much in the same way I'd lost my mother, but at the same time he lost his best friend. _

_Then to watch him had to fight Dyne, not wanting to hurt him, and believing he deserved his venomous words… it made me look at Barret in a whole new light. Sure he put on a good armor and tried to keep everyone at a distance, but he had a huge heart and only wanted to fill the gap left by loosing his home. We weren't at all different, not one bit, and I found he was closer to me then I ever thought. _

_Now he lives for Marlene, his friends and the planet. He works so hard, finding ways to harness energy without destroying the planet in the process, and he's doing an amazing job of it. He comes to Marlene whenever he can, but searching for oil fields isn't the life for a little girl, so he leaves her with us, and I know it kills him every time he has to leave her. He always says, "just a little longer, then I'll be back forever." She doesn't mind, since she'd spent just as much time with Tifa then she has with Barret, but Marlene misses her Daddy, and is excited every time he comes. She's twice as tall as she was during Meteor, and yet he still lifts her to his shoulder and walks around with her like that, taking her for sweets and toys, dreading the time he has to return to work._

_We all are working to rebuild the planet after Sephiroth, but I think Barret is working the hardest, since in his mind, he has the most to shoulder. Perhaps Aerith should pay him a visit, and tell him that he needs to forgive himself… in fact maybe I should just pass the message on to everyone. I think we all shoulder some guilt from that war and beyond, something that isn't really that healthy. There are other's who can do his work, and there is only on Papa for Marlene. Sure she likes me fine, but I'm still not her father._

_He has some work to do on his heart, but I think we all do. I know I need to heal even more, but I'm working toward that. I know he thinks his hands are too stained with blood, but Tifa and I helped just as much, in fact I set the bomb. I think next time I see him, I'm going to offer the idea of him forgiving himself for all that's happened, and maybe he can start down the same road we are all traveling. I know he'll get there on his own someday, but I had help, and maybe he could use some too. He's a good man, a good father; he just needs someone to validate that in him. Who better then his friends?_

_August 19_

The birthday boy let out a soft sigh when he put his pen down this time. He knew that friendship couldn't really be written down in a few pages, but at least this gave him a chance to reflect on what was happening with the people in his life, and maybe that could give him the chance to make a difference in their lives, as they had in his. It was getting close to mid afternoon when he finally finished, and he looked over as the door opened, Tifa, Denzel and Marlene all piling in. They were all chattering about ice cream and cake, obviously not seeing him sitting there. A small smile lit his features as he realized they were trying to figure out which flavor he'd like the best. "Chocolate," he said from his booth. The expressions on their faces were comical, since none of them had seen Cloud sitting there. The kids turned and ran up to him, telling him all about their day, and how hard his job was, and all the animals on the road… both talking at the same time so he couldn't get a word in edgewise. Tifa came up behind them and placed a hand on each of their shoulders, instantly causing them both to stop talking.

"Chocolate it is then, go upstairs and clean up, you can both help me make the cake." They ran off quickly, wanting to help, then the barmaid slipped into the booth across from him. "Enjoying your birthday present?"

Cloud nodded and held it up, "I'm working on a project… when I'm done, I'll let you read it."

"You don't have too, the reason to have a journal is to write down your personal thoughts."

The swordsman nodded a bit, and looked down at the book, "I know, but I have a hard time expressing my feelings anyway, it would be easier for you to just read them." He looked back up to her as she let out a little laugh. "Everyone is coming over tonight, you should get into something that isn't holey work jeans and a tee-shirt." Cloud nodded and got up, taking his book with him.

.:xXx:.

Later that evening, everyone was there to celebrate his birthday, and he sat there in his normal clothes, Denzel and Marlene close by. He almost thought that maybe Tifa had put them on guard duty; afraid he'd take off because of all the attention. They all talked, Barret and Cid started a drinking contest, which Vincent won. He did have an unfair advantage though, his advanced physiology made it really hard to get him drunk at all. Yuffie was the first one out, and spent the rest of the night drunkenly singing karaoke and stalking the tipsy crimson gunman.

A small smile stayed on his face as he watched these people he loved, and he came up with an idea. He wasn't the only hero with a story to tell, or opinions to state. They all deserved that. Even though Aerith and Zack wouldn't be able to write for themselves, perhaps having others write about them would do them all some good… well at least those who knew Zack. He decided he'd be done with his section by Tifa's birthday, and then to pass it along to her. She'd be able to read what he wrote, and add her own. He looked up as a fiery cake started to come close and a drunken chorus of "Happy Birthday" started to come from all areas of the bar. He blew out the candles and the place exploded into applause and the swordsman smiled at his friends.


	3. Cloud's Entry 3: Cid

_**Adventures in Living**_

Well here's the next chapter! From what my plan says, assuming I don't deviate from it, this story will be 70+ chapters… with the chapters all being between 1000 and 2000 words. Wow this is quite a project I'm taking on, but I need a big one! I'm hoping this will fuel the fires for my unfinished pieces… that I will finish… someday! Same rules apply!

* * *

**Cloud's entry 3: Cid**

Cloud came home a little early from his deliveries, knowing Tifa would be taking care of after school activities with the kids, so he's have a few hours to write. School had just started the week before, so there was a lot for her to do. He'd had a short telephone conversation with the next person he had to write about, so that had only fueled his desire to write it. He went upstairs, took a shower, and got into comfortable clothes, ready to get to work.

He read over the other two entries, to get his mind on what needed to be done, and he grabbed his new pen, a gift from Reeve to use with his journal. It was supposed to be top of the line and all that, but really all he needed was for it to put ink on the paper. With a deep breath, he began his third tribute.

_Cid_

_Cid Highwind is a man of complexity, even though most people wouldn't think that at first glance. On the surface, he's a rough and tumble sort of guy that is always strong and confident. He knows what he's doing, and is damn good at it. He's a warrior, a mechanic, and will tell you what's on his mind… most of the time._

_But when you get to know him better, and get past all the bravado and machismo, he has the same, deep fears that everyone does. When we stared death down, he was scared. When he fought, he was passionate, and when he was wrong… he apologized. He made it possible for me to see something no one else had, even if it was only for a few moments. We helped him achieve his dream of Space Travel, and he let me come along for the ride. _

_Then there is Shera, and how he is with her now. Sure, when we first met her, he was hard on her, so much so we didn't even know if we should step in, it seemed unfair he would do that to a perfectly sweet woman. But then we learned what had happened, and that she wanted to be there as penitence, I knew there wasn't anything to be done. Then we went into space, and she saved us, fully ready to sacrifice herself to save Cid, and I had to wonder what on the planet men like us did to have women loyal enough to stare down death at our sides. Why were we so lucky? And by the look on Cid's face, he was thinking the exact same thing._

_Sure he's rude, and crass, but the people he cherishes will never want for a thing. It's is pride as a man to provide, not only for his wife, but all of us, and even his whole town. It will be the pinnacle of his life, when on his deathbed he can die with a smile on his face and no regrets. He doesn't really live toward a goal, he lives those goals everyday, and as long as he's flying, and staying true to what he knows is right, then he's obtained his life's dream. Sure he's not really healthy, he drinks a lot, and smokes more, but I don't think he would take anything back. He lives for today, something I think all of us admire in him, and wish we could do more ourselves. He embodies the spirit of the wind, and while stability is important, he can achieve a balance not many of us can._

_He's lucky, to have only lost the Space Program, because he never had to go through what most of us did, and I pray to the Ancients he never does. But I do know, without a doubt, that if something awful did happen, he'd make it through it, because he's one of the strongest people I've ever met. I envy the way he looks at life, as one great adventure, and while I struggle to stop my happiness from slipping through my fingers, he meets everything head on, and takes back whatever was lost with a choice word, his spear and a cigarette between his teeth. _

_We all have a unique place we fill in our little group of friends; we all fit like puzzle pieces, even though we've lost some, the rest still stay together. Cid is the gusto, he expresses the need we all have to be confident and just, he won't stay quiet when something needs to be said, even if it's hard to hear. If it weren't for Cid and his flying machines, the world would be gone. It was something about how we all just clicked, we all had our parts to play, and for being the last to join us, he gave us the greatest gift._

_He gave us faith, he gave us hope, even after we lost Aerith, even after I fell in the Lifestream… he took over, he kept us going, and he made us point forward, no matter what he had to leave behind. We're all damn lucky to call him a friend._

_September 3_

A small chuckle came out of Cloud as he finished, hoping he did justice to his friend. He hoped, that if Cid were to read it, he would understand how much he meant to all of them. He closed the book and placed the pen on top, leaning back in his chair. He should write another entry while he had time. He didn't mind helping Tifa, or spending time with the kids, but that meant he got very little time to just sit, think and write about the people most important to him.

There wasn't any movement going on down stairs yet, but his phone rang, so he took it out of his pocket. The number said it was Tifa, and he smiled a bit.

"Tifa?"

"Cloud, I'm glad you picked up. I'm not going to have time to make dinner tonight, Marlene's dance class is running late, and I have to still go get Denzel at soccer practice. Would you order a pizza?"

The swordsman nodded to the phone before he realized Tifa couldn't see him. "Yes, the normal kind?"

"Sure, you know the kids don't like spicy, so get half and half."

"Right, half sausage, half ham… that all?"

"I think so," he could tell she was thinking. "Oh, order some dessert too, we haven't had it in awhile, and the kids have been good today."

"Alright," Cloud paused, a small smile coming to his lips, "hurry home."

A little giggle came from the other end, one that could warm his heart in an instant. "I will, you'd better be there when I walk in the door."

The swordsman knew, for the rest of his days, his goal was to come home to her. "I will be… I promised… remember."

"Of course I do, working on your journal?"

He chuckled a bit, "I am, just finished, but I might write more."

Tifa laughed, "sure, just don't forget the pizza. See you when I get home."

"Right, got it, be safe."

"I will, bye."

"Bye."

Cloud leaned back again and slipped his phone away, then used the house phone to order dinner. Once that was done, he started to think about his next friend, and what he could say about him.


	4. Cloud's Entry 4: Cloud

_**Adventures in Living**_

Wow, you guys seem to like this idea, which is awesome, I hope more people will start to read it. I think it's true, that a lot of the characters don't really get the time in fanfics that they deserve. I know this is a Cloti if you dig deep enough, but I hope I'm making it friendly for all FF7 fans. Truly the greatest game in my opinion. Anyway, same rules apply!

* * *

**Cloud's Entry 4: Cloud**

Once Cloud went down stairs and paid for the pizza, he went into the kitchen and put it in the oven so it would stay warm, and sat at the kitchen table with his journal, eager to start another entry. He never had much time, and when he did, he really needed to work. If he didn't, he'd never have it done in time for Tifa's birthday. He was determined to follow through with his idea, since it would do them all good to read how the others in the group viewed them. Not everyone in their group was easy to figure out, and it could give everyone room to improve. He needed help in that area probably worse then anyone.

He let out a breath and stared at the page for a moment, knowing that he was actually next on the list, and he really didn't know what to write. He chewed his lip for a bit, then started…

_Cloud_

_What do I say about myself? I've messed up a lot in my life. There is no getting around that, and I take responsibility for my mess-ups, I expect that, but most of the time I can't take responsibility when I do something right. I think it happens to infrequently, that I don't even know what to say when someone gives me a compliment. From the time I was a little kid, I was always picked on, I was small for my age, and the bigger boys liked to make fun of me. Being shy to a fault didn't help either. I couldn't even get the courage up to talk to Tifa, I can't count the times I just looked at her window, wanting to play with her, and her friends, but always afraid to ask._

_The one-day I did get up the courage, it was the day Tifa's mom died. I remember her, she was a friend with my mom, they were close neighbors and shared recipes a lot, and I was sad when she passed away. What was worse, I knew Tifa needed help, and her bone headed group certainly wasn't the ones to do it, so I started my habit of trying to save her. That day… when she fell off that cliff… I was so angry that they blamed me. I never would have put her in danger, she was always strong willed and I did what any boy would do, I felt I needed to protect her. It seems, no matter how hard I try; I'm always late. She's always hurt, and I can't get there fast enough to stop it. This just deepened my inferiority complex, and then when I was just old enough, I left Nibelheim, trying to leave the bad memories behind._

_That followed me into my teenage years, well the years I managed to live anyway, and Shinra Company knew I wasn't really material for SOLDIER, but it didn't stop the rejection from hurting. I was all the way in Midgar, and I couldn't just go home and face the embarrassment of disappointing Tifa. I'd promised to be her hero, and I'd already failed once. It was a lot of pressure for a kid, but I enrolled in the military, became some nameless drone, and I met Zack._

_Zack was like the big brother I never had. My father died when I was too little to remember him, and my mother was so in love with him, she couldn't move on. I was an only child, so when open and honest Zack Fair came along, I welcomed the friendship. He always had something positive to say, and he was always trying to encourage me. I started to believe in myself, little by little. After the incident with Sephiroth, when he rescued me, I don't even remember it. There are small pieces of memory, screams and fighting, and Zack walking away…Zack dying… then nothing. _

_I remember Tifa, though not completely, she gently nursed me back to health. I can never thank her for all she's ever done for me. It would take five lifetimes and so many roses she'd be covered in them. I was so broken back then, I had voices in my head, some of them mine, others were not, and I met all my friends and told them stories, and Aerith started to have feelings for me, and it was all too much for me to process. It was easier, to turn off, to focus on killing Sephiroth, then it was to think about my life, and how wrong it really was. I had one purpose, one goal, and even after my memories were fixed, and I was mostly whole again, I still stayed focused. Then once Sephiroth was dead, I didn't know what to do._

_Tifa stepped in again, and helped me, but I hurt her so badly when I got sick. I wasn't thinking, I'd failed Aerith, lied to our friends, and then walked out on her so she wouldn't have to see me die. That was my fear, that she'd be there, and she'd see the light leave my eyes as I had had to watch Aerith's flee… and she'd be stuck with the awful burden that I'd been shouldering for years. I thought, if I died alone, then they would all mourn me, but they wouldn't have to see it. They would remember me strong and vital, they would remember the Cloud that defeated Sephiroth, not the one feeble and loosing his mind. I was so scared, I wanted to be with all of them, and when they called I listened to their voices and it reminded me why I was doing this. I couldn't see pity in their eyes… I didn't want to see the sadness when they lost yet another friend. I watched so many people die, held so many people as they passed into the next life…I didn't want to go with fanfare, I didn't want to see them cry. It was so selfish._

_And I know, that I truly am the luckiest man on Gaea. I did die, my heart was dead, but with help from everyone, I got it back. Aerith, from beyond the grave strove to fix me; Tifa stood up to my decision and spoke her mind. The breaking point was Marlene though. She was so angry with me, and I knew I'd missed her, and she didn't understand, but her little face, looking up at me, her eyes lined with tears…it hurt so bad. She ran to Vincent, she couldn't even stand to be around me, and then I knew… to hell with Geostigma, the place I belong was with my family. I had to spend as much time as I could with them… not for myself, but for them. Living has never been easy for me, why would I even entertain that dying would be._

_I didn't die though, I lived… no… I was reborn, I can smile, and I can laugh… I can think of Aerith and be happy I loved her; I can think of Zack and treasure my brother without the overwhelming sadness. I can hug Elmyra without guilt weighing me down and I can look in Marlene's face and see a child, being a child. I asked Vincent once, if sins could be forgiven. He didn't know, because he kept his own close to his heart, but I came to realize, that everyone is responsible for his or hers own actions, and their decisions are not mine to bear. Aerith died to save the planet, Zack died to save me, and I wouldn't want any of my friends to shoulder my death if I were to give my life to save them. _

_I'm tired of living for death… I want to try life for once. I'm not very good at it yet, but I'm writing about myself in a journal, so that must be some progress. I am so thankful, every day, so the people around me, who love me. For being such a lonely kid, I have so many friends now. And there really isn't a thing in my life that I don't cherish everyday. _

_September 3_

The swordsman let out a sigh and closed the book, rubbing his eyes. That had been hard, but he didn't regret a single thing he'd written. It was all true, and he hoped if the others did read it, maybe they would know how much they meant. His life had been so messed up for so long, but now it was so much better, he didn't even mind having to work, as long as he was there at night to help Tifa, and read the kids a bedtime story.

He heard the door open in the bar and he got up, sticking the journal under his arm and pulling the pizza out of the oven. The kids bounded in, Marlene still in her tutu, and Denzel muddy from soccer. "Oh no you don't, upstairs!" The kids both let out groans, but they both wanted to eat, so they wasted no time going to clean up. Tifa came in the kitchen, frowning at the muddy footprints. "They really should get astro-turf for that field. Just a little water and there's a mess!" She blew her bangs out of her eyes and glanced up at Cloud, who was smiling at her. "What?"

The delivery boy just chuckled, and walked over, putting an arm around the over worked woman. "I was just writing, and I think this is probably the most thoughtful present anyone has ever got for me."

His heart melted as she gave him a huge smile, hugging him back tightly. "Thanks Cloud, that means a lot."

He nodded a bit, letting the other arm encircle her shoulders, "I should tell you nice things more often."


	5. Cloud's Entry 5: Nanaki

**Adventures in Living**

Welcome back! This is the fifth chapter, we're half way through Cloud's entries, and then it will be on to Tifa! I hope you are all enjoying it so far; I'm having loads of fun writing it. There will be entries for all the characters; it's going to be a challenge! I'm looking forward to it! Same rules apply and please leave comments!

* * *

**Cloud's Entry 5: Nanaki**

It took Cloud another month before he had time to sit down and write again. Tifa had taken the kids shopping to find Halloween costumes, and since it was a Sunday, the delivery boy had a whole afternoon to himself, without the kids demanding every moment playing video games or reading stories. A small smile came to his face as he sat at his desk once again, ready to start. He certainly didn't mind playing with the kids, they just had more energy then he did most of the time, and he hardly ever had time to write.

He took a sip of his tea; a blend Nanaki had sent them from Cosmo Canyon. It was supposed to help attune the energies within, and with six more essays to write, he needed all the grounding he could get. It was pretty good too, nice on a raining October day.

_Nanaki_

_I know there are many people who don't give credit to our four-legged companion, people who dismiss him as a pet, or worse. I have to stop myself from punching idiots who just assume he's a monster, because most of the time he responds to that with a polite comment, then walks away. He's one of the oldest, and youngest members of our group, in years he's only a bit younger then Vincent, and in the reckoning of his people, he's just a bit older then Yuffie. Yet, he's probably the wisest of us all. _

_He lost his own parents very young, the protectors of Cosmo Canyon, and he suffered at the hands of a tribe of his own people. They hated the humans, and Seto, Nanaki's father, gave his life to stop the residents of the Canyon from being decimated, and his mother didn't last much longer. A wise, old human named Bugenhagen raised him, and even though he's no longer with us, the impression of his wisdom wasn't just imprinted on Red, but on all of us._

_The planet is dying, there isn't anything we can do about it, but try not to rush it to it's demise. This knowledge makes it easier for all of us to do what we can to preserve what we can for the future. Nanaki seems to get this the most, and even now he's studying everything he can in that place of learning to try and help us make the world better. He's completely selfless, helping not only the humans of Cosmo Canyon, but also the whole world, and they still only look at him as an animal_

_I know I can't be angry with this, because he isn't. But I feel like I'm a bad friend if I don't through an angry look at a person that degrades him. I feel the same when men objectify Tifa and Yuffie, or when someone picks on Vincent for being who he is, and he's just not inclined to respond. And even though Nanaki says that it doesn't bother him, we all know it does. _

_There are some things that you just can talk to anyone about, but he's always there, and he never judges. He offers sound advice, because he's probably one of the smartest in our group, but he's always there as just a friend, and never takes sides. He's a true negotiator, and I think he is because he'd seen so much violence, since he was merely a child, and he doesn't want another child to loose their parents if he can help it. He's loyal, giving and impartial, which makes him the peacemaker of our group._

_If Yuffie is pissed at something, she goes to Nanaki. If Marlene misses Barret and doesn't want anyone to know, she calls Red. Even Vincent and I can confide in him and not have to worry that the talk would get back to whomever we're needing advice for. _

_Nanaki truly did fight this war for the planet. Most of us did it, even if it was just a little bit, out of spite because of Shinra. I needed to defeat Sephiroth for personal reasons, Tifa wanted to stop Shinra from orphaning more children. Vincent needed to take out Hojo, Yuffie wanted to restore Wutai and get her true homeland. Cid wanted to go to space, and Barret wanted justice for his wife, daughter… and Dyne. Reeve needed to make amends for what he's allowed to happen, and Aerith needed to find herself. Nanaki was the only real champion of the planet. Sure we all wanted to save it, but the reason he came with us was to stop what was happening, not the smaller visions the rest of us had. How could someone not admire a person like that?_

_He's going to be around a lot longer then the rest of us, with the possible exception of Vincent who still seems to be immortal, and maybe he'll see the planet heal itself and reclaim the ruined areas left in Shinra's wake. Maybe he'll see green again, and maybe what we did actually bought the human race some time. But when it comes down to it, we ruined the planet for those sentient creatures that will follow after, and the people modified by madmen. I'm sure that his view of the world, through his longevity, helped to fuel his decision. I know I'd want the world to be around for my whole lifetime._

_Despite his animal-like appearance, Nanaki is the gentlest and wisest of all of us. He's a fierce warrior, a protector, and not even an adult in the span of his life. We're all lucky that he decided to help us win the day. We're all lucky to have him as a counselor, advisor and friend, a long, and very happy life to you, Nanaki._

_October 5_

Cloud reached up about his head to stretch his shoulders, looking over the book again. It was starting to look like it was being used, but there was still so many pages, and he was half done with his friends. Tifa would have plenty of room to catalog her own memories, and he was glad. She was just as much a hero as he was, and in many ways, she was his hero, just as she claimed he was the same to her. It was amazing, to think they all relied on each other so much, but they all could be so different.

Next on the list was Reeve, and Cloud looked to his clock, hoping that he'd have enough time to finish one more. He felt like he was making progress, that perhaps he would be finished in time for Tifa's birthday, he felt confident he'd be able to go through with his plan. He heard the chime ring downstairs, so he got up and took his journal with him.

When he got down there, he saw it was Vincent and Yuffie. They were both filthy, and while the gunman looked the same, the ninja didn't look happy. Reeve had sent them on a mission no doubt, and from the grumpy Yuffie, it hadn't gone well.

Vincent stepped forward, "we're sorry to disturb your writing time Cloud, but may we borrow your shower?" The swordsman nodded, motioning to the bathroom up the stairs. "Just put your clothes in the hall and I'll put them in the washing machine for you."

Yuffie threw her hands up, "seriously, I'm going to murder Reeve! Zolom hunting in that damn swamp! They weren't even big ones! Not even a challenge for the Great Ninja Yuffie and her sidekick Vinnie the Vamp!" She huffed and started stripping her backpack and weapons as she went.

Cloud's eyebrow rose a bit as his eyes went to the gunman. "Since when were you demoted to sidekick?"

"Since Yuffie decided it was unfair that both you and I had got to save the world by ourselves and she hasn't had the opportunity." They both heard the water start, guessing the ninja had taken 'ladies first' even in this situation.

"You can use my shower Vincent, besides… you stink."

The crimson gunslinger smiled a bit and nodded in thanks, also placing his bag and rifle with Yuffie's things. He still had his Cerberus in the holster though, which made Cloud smile… he hoped his friend would be around for a long time. He followed Vincent up, put his book back on the desk and went to gather the clothes. He grabbed their spare ones out of the hall closet and placed them on the doorknobs, then went back to work.


	6. Cloud's Entry 6: Reeve

_**Adventures in Living**_

Thank you guys for your support and comments! Well here is Chapter 6, I hope you all enjoy it too! Thanks to serenbach, Skykhanhunter, City of Dis, cloudlover2989, FaerieFighter009, Cloudtail4ever, MsRainey, vx-Luna-xv, San Hayashi and Ky-chan for all your great comments! Sorry I can't respond to everyone one, but I really appreciate all reviews left! Anyway! Same rules apply, and enjoy!

* * *

**Cloud's Entry 6: Reeve**

Cloud could hear water running in his bathroom, sure that Vincent wouldn't mind if he worked while he washed the grime away. When you are saving the world, and have to bathe in a pond, all shyness kind of leaves… at least with the same sex. The men of Avalanche had bathed together a lot, for safety purposes… and expediency. It was like showering in the Shinra Military, everyone did it together.

He sipped down some more of his energy drink and opened the book, focusing on the task before him. His showering friend was so covered in swamp goo, he was pretty sure the longhaired man would be in there awhile. He looked more like a mud monster going in then Vincent.

_Reeve_

_Our relationships with Reeve are much different then we have with the others of our group. Not to say that the bonds aren't as tight, but you tend to look at someone differently when you spent a large time talking to them through a stuffed cat. I didn't even meet him face to face until a few days after Meteor, when we'd rested up and were helping with the recovery effort. Vincent and Yuffie were actually the first to meet him. In the Crater, the two of them had gotten separated from the rest of us, so they managed to get on gold Chocobos the Sage had given them, and made it back to Midgar before the rest of us. They were helping Reeve days before the rest of us even saw his face for the first time._

_The friendship we ended up forming started on tenuous ground, but ended up being just as true as it had been with all our friends. He'd believed his superiors at first, Avalanche was a terrorist organization for lack of a better word, and he was trying to protect the city he'd helped to build. He protected it, and it's population, that was his job, and he was the only Shinra executive not bogged down by greed._

_He certainly has been weighted down by guilt though, and I think most of the surviving Shinra share that. Even Rufus Shinra seems sorry, in his own, twisted way. Reeve is a purely good man though, and the weight of the Sector 7 tragedy weighs heavy, even now on his shoulders. That is what sets him apart from Rufus Shinra. Sure, if the rumors are true, and from what Vincent has told me about the inner workings of the WRO, they are, then Shinra is giving copious amounts of money to Reeve to keep his organization going. He's staying in his Office, ordering the Turks around, while Reeve is in the field, directing projects, and fighting when he needs to. He uses his own resources to try and save as many lives as he can, and try to help the families of the ones he couldn't. That's what makes him a great man; probably the only one of it's kind to come out of the Shinra execs. _

_Reeve Tuesti has a truly kind heart. Sometimes the weight of loss bears down on him so greatly, he can hardly move, and that is what makes him an amazing friend. If you need his help, he will offer it, and if he needs yours, he will ask. I think at first, because of the betrayal, he wasn't sure he could ask us, and he wasn't confident in his role as a war hero. I'm sure that's because of his removal from us, he felt bad that we were all in very real danger, in fact one of us paid the ultimate price for our freedom, but he wasn't in harms way._

_Well, maybe part of that's true, sure he wasn't staring into the emerald eyes of the Devil, but he stayed in Midgar, he protected Elmyra and Marlene, he got them to Kalm but he stayed in the path of Meteor to try and save as many as he could. He took hold of the reigns of Shinra Company to do his best to save the city. There are a lot of people still alive because of his actions… I'd say that's more then worthy of the accolades of the title hero. And by the end, we all knew he was a good man, and we all counted him and his little robot among us._

_And now he's sunk most of his personal wealth into an organization meant to really protect the people in the absence of Shinra. He pulled an army of well-intended people together to protect those who could not protect them selves. With my money I became a delivery boy, he made the people's army. I get called all these amazing things, and yet I've done nothing with them. Reeve built something out of nothing, and took on the responsibility of protecting the planet. That's probably why everyone… even Vincent, gave into his charm and work on the really hard problems that come up. We're all, in a way, WRO agents, because then he calls us, we all come to help. I've gladly handed my mantle of leader over to Reeve, I trust his decisions more then my own, most of the time._

_We may have started out as enemies, full of distrust and anger, but through the decisions we all made, the group really came together. I guess saving the world will do that, but even though Reeve wasn't there in body, he was in spirit, and he was doing a much harder job then we were. He was looking every woman in the eyes when she couldn't find her husband in a ruined house; he was digging for the man himself, not wanting the wide eyed children to be without their father. And he was taking the responsibility of consoling them both when he couldn't get to the man in time. That's the kind of man I'd like to be._

_October 5_

Cloud finished with his writing about the time the water shut off, and a clean Vincent emerged from the smaller room to get his clothes, a towel around his waist and a rather grumpy expression on his face. The swordsman tried not to smirk too much at the rather comical expression, and the gunman took the look at a need to give more information. "No more swamps with Yuffie, and despite what she says, mudball fights are not fun."

Cloud let out a little bark of laughter, covering his mouth with his hand. "I wouldn't think they would be…"

Vincent narrowed his eyes, "I found dirt in places… and I don't understand how it could have gotten there…"

This time Cloud laughed, thinking this whole thing quite funny. Vincent didn't agree, but at least he let the look on his face soften a bit. The gunslinger motioned to the book as he pulled his pants on, "Tifa's present?"

The swordsman nodded, closing the book and holding it up for his friend to see. "She says every hero needs to tell his story, but for the most part, I'm not telling mine, I'm telling the stories of the whole group."

Cloud nearly laughed at the look Vincent gave him at that comment, and the delivery boy put the book back on his desk. "Maybe you should try it sometime, we're a lot alike, it might help you like it has me."

The raven-haired man merely grunted, pulling his shirt on and tucking it into his pants. The rest of his clothes were still washing, but he wasn't uncomfortable like this in front of his friend. Vincent let out a small sigh and glanced that the book. "Perhaps you're right, but I haven't the time at the present."

The gunslinger slipped out of the room to go check on his clothes, and Cloud smiled a bit to himself. They were all changing for the better… weren't they?


	7. Cloud's Entry 7: Tifa

_**Adventures in Living**_

Oh! It's Tifa's turn! Again, that's to everyone for the great reviews, I'm surprised this is actually kind of popular, but I'm glad it is because I'm having a ton of fun writing it, and it makes me actually want to sit down and write! It's nice that they don't have to be super long either, it makes it easier on me! I love writing, but when a project gets overwhelming my plot bunnies escape! Anyway, same rules apply!

* * *

**Cloud's Entry 7: Tifa**

Cloud hadn't been able to write in months, having the holiday season come up put a damper on pretty much his whole personal life. First, people always wanted to have things delivered, and the closer it got to Christmas, the more deliveries people needed. Second, he needed money to buy presents, and if he turned the jobs down, then he would have to look at disappointed faces in front of the tree. He'd seen way too many disappointed looks on his family's faces to let a happy occasion be littered with them as well.

So it wasn't until the day after Christmas, then the kids were off having fun with Barret for the weekend, skiing at Icicle Inn, that he got a chance to write. Tifa was down stairs putting gifts away, but she'd been the one to suggest he go write a bit. She still thought he was using it as a journal, rather then a tribute to them all. So he nodded a bit and went up to go to work, knowing who was next on his list, and knowing that entry needed to be done most of all.

_Tifa_

_There is a saying back home; that a person never truly knows what something means to them until it's gone. I know, that saying effects Tifa deeply, because she's lost so much in her life, that every moment she's alive is precious to her. The way she looks at the kids, and at me, I know she's memorizing everything because she thinks that it will be gone tomorrow. And when it's not, and she can wake up and enjoy breakfast with us again, she starts all over, preparing for the day when that doesn't happen._

_I know she wishes she'd done that with her mother and father, because there are times when she's looking off into nowhere and thinking of them. She doesn't remember a lot about her mom, she was so small when she died, and she'd lost her father so violently… sometimes I simply marvel at the fact she can smile at all. Without a doubt, she has suffered more then I have, and yet she can still take comfort in all the little things._

_Had she fallen back on her habit when I'd abandoned her? She was angry, but I know she missed me too, I can just see it in her eyes… did she fall back on remembering all the little things, like helping me with my routes, or watching the kids hug me when I got home… is this how she got through it? Or was she so angry with me that she blocked it all out, and tried not to think of me at all? I don't think it's the latter, because there were times I know she called just to listen to my voicemail message, because all she'd ask was "How are you Cloud?" and hang up. There were times I'd sneak back into town just to be closer to her. There were nights that the pain was so bad and I'd be staring at the ceiling, and the lilies and the Church wouldn't comfort me, it was one of the pictures I had on my cell phone. Tifa, playing with the kids, a month before I got sick, and she was smiling and the kids were laughing and I wanted to remember that one moment, so I took the picture. It seemed I'd gotten the habit from her, and it was one of the few things that kept me going._

_And then she found me, I'm surprised she hadn't come to the church sooner, I know she must have figured I was there, and I came back and she was hurt, beaten so badly and left in the flowers… it broke my heart. I think that was what kept me from running again. How many times had I hurt her, and she still came to find me, and got injured doing it. I think I started to realize then, my true mistake. I wasn't protecting her from my sickness, and I wasn't seeking Aerith forgiveness… I was scared._

_Scared of how much I loved her, scared that I wasn't strong enough to live for even a few more days, and scared that she'd never love me back. I needed to forgive myself, which was part of the fear, that Aerith would never understand why I was picking Tifa over her. It wasn't because she was dead, because in my heart, I'd always loved Tifa, and I felt guilty because of it. I knew she had feelings for me, and at some base level I know I didn't love her that way, and I felt awful because of it. Especially after I hurt her, and it only got worse after she died… it made me suppress my true feelings, the ones I'd had for Tifa since I was a boy._

_And I look at Tifa's face now, and she thinks I'm going to disappear again, that I love a woman who is gone more then her and the kids. She thinks we don't have a real family, and she's the closest I've ever had to one. I grew up with just my mom, and I loved her so much, but it wasn't like having a family, like Tifa had. I love them so much, and I'm so ashamed I can't express it, because the minute I do, I'm going to loose them like I've lost every thing else. People say I'm brave, that I'm a hero… and it's just not true. I'm a coward, and I hurt people because of it._

_I need to change, because Tifa is a smart, beautiful, brave woman and she won't wait for me forever. I'm afraid she will find a family with someone else, and I'll loose everything again. This fear is a double-edged sword, and no matter what I do, I risk loosing the one person who means the most to me. I don't know if I'd be strong enough to smile again after that._

_But now, since I've been back, I do feel lighter, and I smile more, and the kids even notice the difference. Marlene, being the little budding artist that she is, now draws little pictures of me smiling more then frowning… that says something. Aerith helped me give up the guilt I had, by showing me that I had for forgive myself, but Tifa was the one that wouldn't let me run anymore. When it comes to my emotions, I tend to run before I'll stand up and fight, and that instinct comes from a time when I was very small, and didn't feel worthy of even being in her presence._

_Perhaps some of me still feels that way. I wanted to be in SOLDIER so she'd notice me, and I failed at that. And I lied to her, even though I hadn't meant too, maybe I can't tell her how I feel because I don't think I deserve those feelings. And what if she doesn't love me back? Am I even worth her time? It's so hard for me to get past those insecurities. _

_So where does that leave us? In an awkward in between, where we are more then friends, and less then lovers, forever fated to roam around in the dark and never make that one connection? This place isn't comfortable for either of us, and maybe I should be brave like people always say and just tell her. I need to tell her before she reads it in this book. Someone as wonderful as she is deserves to hear it, even if it's not reciprocated. And if I do loose her…then at least she can move on and be happy._

_Tifa Lockhart has been the love of my whole life, and even if I didn't remember it always, I know the truth now. She's loving, brave and selfless, waiting around for so long, just to be able to be around me. She's my best friend, my counselor, and the other part of my soul. I love you Tifa, more then you will ever know._

_December 26_

The swordsman let out a shaky breath and closed the book, leaning forward and placing his head in his hands. Men didn't cry, especially a man like him, they got angry and upset, and punched things… so he must have just been tired from all the work, right? He wiped away the one droplet and swallowed passed his dry throat. He tried not to think of life without Tifa, even when he was away from her, she was always there… but what if something did happen, and she never knew how he felt.

There was a light knock on the door, then it opened, Tifa came in with a laundry basket to put the wash away. But when their eyes met, she dropped the thing and came over to him, kneeling down. "Cloud, what's wrong?"

His throat was still dry, he couldn't answer right away, and so he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in close. He knew she was worried, she probably had never seen this much emotion on his face, but he found he just couldn't help it. The knot in his chest just grew, and he couldn't hold it in anymore.

"I love you Tifa, please… don't leave me."

He felt her go rigid in his arms, before relaxing a bit, just enough to pull away slightly so she could look at his face. Her hands slipped to his cheeks and she smiled so beautifully that the swordsman felt his heart quicken. "You don't know how long I've wished for you to say that, Cloud."

The blond hadn't expected that response, but he'd hoped for it, and he pulled her close, again, letting his forehead rest against hers. "You won't leave me then?"

"No," she whispered, deep emotion in her voice, "no I won't, you silly man."


	8. Cloud's Entry 8: Vincent

_**Adventures in Living**_

We're getting close to the end of Cloud's entries! Thanks to all the reviewers, and yes Cloud can be lame sometimes, but at least he told Tifa, and that's what counts! The next person after Cloud to share their thoughts is obviously Tifa, then after that… we'll see. Maybe I'll let you guy vote on who you think Tifa should give the book to. I'm thinking Yuffie, since I've got some request for some Yuffentine action too! Anyway, same rules apply! Enjoy!

* * *

**Cloud's Entry 8: Vincent**

Cloud woke up slowly, the morning sun filtering through curtains that he wasn't used to; a warm presence seemed to call him back into sleep. He had no idea what time it was, and since the kids weren't there, he and Tifa didn't have the moving alarm clock they normally did. His blue eyes opened a bit to see a shock of chestnut hair draped across his scarred chest, and a smile formed instantly as his foggy brain process what had happened.

He told Tifa he loved her…

Then he'd shown her… several times. The first time she'd actually said the words to him was near the end of their first completion, she'd whispered it so softly, even if someone else had been in the room, they wouldn't have heard it. It was just for his ears, and it caused a sort of peace to fall into his life that he'd never had before. He moved his head to look into her sleeping face, her lips were rosy and her cheeks pink, he half expected her to grow wings with how perfectly angelic she looked. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to her forehead, not wanting to wake her, but he almost couldn't believe that he was in her bed, and that he could feel so complete.

He smiled a bit more when her chocolate eyes came open; looking at him with the same hazy expression he was sure he had. "Morning…"

"Good Morning," he replied, kissing her softly. She giggled and snuggled close, not wanting to get up. "Are you going to work on your journal today?"

"Probably, I don't get the chance to write often."

"You're really taking this seriously Cloud… it's that important to you?"

He turned on his side to look at her, letting his head rest next to hers. "Yes, it is. I'm glad I have this opportunity. We all know I'm not much of a talker."

Tifa let out another little laugh, and kissed him soundly, before slipping out of his grasp. "I need to finish the laundry, since you interrupted me yesterday." Cloud chuckled softly and nodded, getting up himself. He had things to do too, and the kids weren't coming back until tomorrow, so they had time. He grabbed his clothes and headed toward his room, before he felt a hand fall on his shoulder. He turned and looked into the questioning face of his girl… his smile grew again as he thought those words.

"Cloud, you know your bed is small, and really is meant for a child… well and I have a big bed, do you think…" She bit her lip in a very cute way, and Cloud gathered her up in his arms.

"If you think, after spending a night with you, that I'm going back to that bed… you're crazier then I thought."

Her mouth fell open and she slapped his chest, not hard… well for her anyway, and the blond swordsman couldn't help but laugh. His eyes came back to her, and hers were shining. "You're laughing, and smiling so much now… you don't know how happy that makes me."

He planted a soft kiss on her lips, before he let her go. "Go do your laundry, I have something to write." She laughed again, and took the clothes out of his hands and placed them in a pile, before going to get dressed. Cloud headed across the hallway and got dressed quickly, before sitting down at his desk. Now that he knew what it felt like to have the woman he loved in his arms, he wasn't sure how his next friend actually went through the day, since he'd lost his.

_Vincent_

_There is a lot to Vincent Valentine, he grew up in a very different age, where even Turks had a sort of code, and men opened doors for ladies. It's impossible to tell how he was before his tragedy, but now that he's healed a bit, we all think small things are starting to come through. I know his story, most of Avalanche does, but there are only a few that really know all that happened. Tifa, Yuffie and I were together when we found him, and Yuffie was with us when we saw Lucrecia in the crystal for the first time. But still, not even me, who was in his party a lot, know what actually happened._

_He's not much of a talker, and he pretends not to care about us, but if something were to happen, like when Edge was attacked during the Deepground incident, he comes running to the rescue. I know he came because Tifa and I were there with the kids, even though we'd gotten them and Elmyra to Healin. Wasn't my first choice, but we were limited. Even though Vincent never said a word, the worried look he gave us when we finally got to see him again told me that he was there for his friends… and his friends were there for him._

_We searched, for days, I was on Fenrir, and going everywhere in those ruins I could safely, and most places I couldn't. All I found was his Cerberus Relief, which disappeared off my desk the night after I recovered it. How Shelke knew were to go, I think only Vincent knows that, but that girl did have Lucrecia's memories, maybe someone whispered to her from beyond. We all noticed the change when he got back. Sure he didn't laugh or anything, but he does smile now, and there are more times then not that he doesn't hide behind his hair and collar. He didn't seem quite so tormented anymore; a peace that he'd never known seemed to encircle him like his cloak. I think he figured out that sin could be forgiven, if you're willing to forgive yourself._

_Something happened during the Omega Crisis, something lifted his spirit just enough that we can all notice it now. And even though he claimed not to care, and even though he pretended not to have feelings, we all know the truth… He's scared of loosing the people he loves, again. He and I are much alike, even though his story is longer, and much sadder then mine; we have a lot of commonality that he can't share with the others. I recognize things in him that are taking place, which happened to me only a few months ago. He's healing, and he's trying to have a life that isn't centered on the past._

_And even though he thinks he's a monster, we all know the truth. He's a good man, and a greater hero then any of us. Everything that happened in his life, everything that's happening now, is because he truly feels emotion so deeply that he can't escape it. He loves so much that it drowns him in the end. He isn't a cold man; in fact he can be just as caring as Tifa, he's just afraid to get his heart broken again. He uses his aloofness to try and protect his heart. It isn't working anymore though, because we all see right through him. We all know the truth now, even if it's not all the story. _

_I hope that Vincent can get his life back, because he has a lot to offer the world. He's talented, strong and likable, despite his stinted emotional state. We all love him, and I think he's really getting to the point where he understands that, and accepts that. We've all had huge amount of tragedy in our lives, but he's had the most, so it's natural that healing would take a long time. I just hope, for his sake, it doesn't take too long, because a certain little ninja won't wait on him forever…_

_December 27_

Cloud looked up as Tifa walked in, a cup of coffee in one hand, and a bagel in the other. She sat them both down next to him, on his desk, and she turned and smiled at him. "You do need to eat, carbohydrates are good for brain power."

The swordsman raised his eyebrows at her, "are you saying I need all the help I can get?"

The martial artist laughed, and Cloud thought that, for sure this time she was going to sprout white wings. He pulled her down on his lap and looked up at her. "You're an angel."

She tilted her head and smiled wider, "so, if I am an angel, then that means I live with the clouds…"

"Well, you live with one, does that count?"

With another angelic giggle, Tifa closed the gap and kissed him softly. "One is all I've ever needed."


	9. Cloud's Entry 9: Yuffie

_**Adventures in Living**_

Thank you again for all the great reviews! I've so glad everyone is enjoying Adverntures, and I'm really excited to have so many reviews and views in only a few days! I'm having a blast writing this, and while I love writing for Cloud, I can't wait to get to the next part and explore the other characters. Anyway, same rules apply!

* * *

**Cloud's Entry 9: Yuffie**

After Cloud had eaten something, and Tifa took the dishes away, the blond decided to write at least one more entry for the day. He was in good shape, since he only had two more to go, and five months until Tifa's birthday. The last one he had to do was going to be a hard one to write… but the next one was going to be fun. Sure Yuffie could get a bit too over zealous sometimes, but she was a good person underneath it all.

He took a sip of his coffee and picked the pen up, flipping to the next page. He took a moment to gather his thoughts before setting the ink to paper.

_Yuffie_

_Yuffie is a little ninja freak, who loves to steal materia and tends to pop up in the strangest places. She has some sort of sixth sense about where her friends are going to be, so she can show up at just the right time to help out, or sometimes just to be there for someone. Because, even if she is a little ninja freak, she's our ninja freak, and we wouldn't trade her for the world. She's brazen, quick witted, and snotty sometimes, and she can get on one's nerves when she tries to take your materia, but she usually gives it back. I think it's like a sport to her, stealing from us. She usually only does it when she wants to get our attention about something._

_She's very profound for being so young, and she whines and makes faces at us old people, but she can see things with her youthful ways that most of us can't. Why do you think she engaged in a mud ball fight with Vincent? Not because she was playing, because she was trying to get him to play _with_ her. There isn't one of us that hasn't lost more then a bit of their childhood, expected to grow up way to fast, or doesn't even remember having one, and Yuffie tries desperately to make us all look at the world with a renewed sense of wonder. We saved it, and in her eyes, we should enjoy it too._

_Our ninja doesn't try to focus on the bad in the world; she turns her eyes toward the future. And she may boast and brag about her skills, and being important, she knows that she has a place here, with us, even if she decided not to rule Wutai, even if she wasn't the Great Ninja Yuffie, we'd still all love her, and accept her. There was a time, when some of us couldn't forgive what she did, but others… we saw what she was really doing, trying to save her home that had been destroyed as a power by Shinra. She was a little kid when it happened, and probably couldn't do anything to stop it. Now, she's an adult, and wants to do what she can to protect it. She's very protective of all the things she cares about._

_I don't think it was a coincidence that she happened to show up at Shinra Manor just in time to save Vincent. Knowing her, she followed him there, worried about him, and stayed in the shadow to let him confront his demons. When he was about to be killed, she came out and saved him. She wasn't lucky, she was smart, and if there is anyone who can help Vincent to heal, it's her. She's a light that he doesn't have in himself, and I know Cid and Barret are concerned for her because she's so attached to an older man, but I think it's a good thing. Every scarred man still has a heart beating in his chest; sometimes it just takes an act of kindness and love to bring it out again. Yuffie is so tenacious, that I truly believe she's the only woman on the planet with the patience to get to him._

_Sure she doesn't have patience for anything else, but I see the way those two work together, and worry about each other… I think he'll calm her down, and she'll help him glue his heart back together._

_Most people don't actually see the real Yuffie, the one that wants to do right, the girl that can't leave a friend behind, no matter what. Someone who would stay in harms way if it meant saving one more life, and a woman that wouldn't let someone hurt himself or herself. For all the bluster and whining, she's very mature. She just uses the annoying brat routine to cover up her own heart, so she doesn't have to get hurt. If she let someone see the real her, she thinks that they won't like what they see. She thinks, falsely, that it will be easier if we all decided not to have her around, she could just tell herself it wasn't her, it was because we saw her as a child, and nothing more._

_The only person she's fooling is herself. She's like a sister to Tifa and Aerith, a daughter to Cid and Barret, a confidant to Vincent and Nanaki, a playmate for Reeve… and for me she's a pillar of hope in a usually dismal world. She's proof that even after tragedy, even after everything is gone, something can come out of the ashes. I've always got the Phoenix equipped, and I think it's because of what Yuffie makes me feel. All the child like wonder I do possess, the ability to tell Sephiroth to his face that I cherish everything in my life, the reason I can see a child and not think that they are just destined to die one day, that now I can see the amazement in their eyes that life brings… that is because of Yuffie's example. I am lucky to have so many strong women close to me, because I truly think I would still be running if it weren't for them standing firm against me, to stop me._

_One day, she'll take over the throne of Wutai, and I believe, without a doubt, the world will be better off with her as a leader. And we are all better off with her as our friend._

_December 27_

Cloud heard Tifa call his name downstairs, so he rose from his desk and grabbed him cold coffee, closing the book as an after thought. He made his way down the stairs and saw that Vincent and Yuffie were there, though this time they weren't covered in mud. Tifa turned and smiled happily at the swordsman, causing his heart to flutter once again. The hyper ninja bounced over and looped her arm around Cloud's, her head resting on his shoulder. "So," she said in a high voice, "our little Cloud finally grew some and told Tifa that he loved her. We've all known it all along, but it took him this long… wow!" She giggled and looked to Vincent, who was frowning at her.

"Yuffie, Cloud needed time, these things can't be rushed."

"You only say that Vince because you can't admit to yourself that I'm dead sexy." She laughed heartily as the gunman turned away from her, the top of his cheeks a bit darker then normal. Of course only she had noticed, because she made Vincent Valentine her business, and it wasn't much at all, but it was a start.

"Well Yuffie, what brings you two here anyway?" Tifa was always the mediator, and Cloud saw the gunman shoot her a look of thanks.

"Oh right! I need you guys to hide me. The old man wants me to come home and get married, what's up with that? He thinks I'm an old maid or something I guess. Anyway, I don't want him to find me if I can help it, and I figured this would be the best place. It's comfy, with friends and in plain sight."

Cloud shook his head a bit, "he'll look here, and I'm not sure it's right to lie to your father."

"Sure it is, I do it all the time. Anyway, Vincent is going to be my bodyguard, or so says Reeve, he doesn't want to loose his best agent to holy matrimony! So can we crash here?"

Tifa smiled, like she always did when indulging Yuffie. "Of course Yufs, our home is always opened to you. You can take the extra room, and Vincent can stay in Cloud's room." The blond could tell that Yuffie was fibbing, that her father probably wasn't looking for her, but what he wasn't sure about was why the gunslinger was going along with it.

Vincent tilted his head a bit and looked to Tifa, "then where will Cloud sleep."

The barmaid smirked, and the swordsman felt his cheeks go warm. "With me, of course…"

Then came a shriek so loud that Cloud was sure it would cause permanent hearing loss.


	10. Cloud's Entry 10: Zack

_**Adventures in Living**_

Sorry it took me so long to post this one guys! Fanfiction wasn't letting me sign in, but it seems to be fixed! Yay! and OMG here's Cloud's last entry! Next up is Tifa! I've never really written for her, so it might be a challenge, but I'm sure I'm up to it! Anyway, enjoy this last entry for Cloud; I'm looking forward to seeing what you all think! Same rules apply!

* * *

**Cloud's Entry 10: Zack**

It was a few days before Tifa's birthday, and Cloud sat at his desk, staring at his book. He knew that the last entry was probably going to be the hardest one, and he'd put off writing it so long, Tifa was beginning to think he's lost interest. It wasn't that at all, he was just a bit scared. What was going to happen when he opened these capped off emotions? He'd been suppressing his feelings around Zack's death for a long time, mostly because in his heart, he knew Zack died to protect him. Aerith had given her life for the greater good, but Zack's death had been so… senseless. He let out a sigh and knew today had to be the day he wrote it. He needed to pass the journal to Tifa on her birthday, and he was running out of time.

The kids were at school, Vincent was meeting with Reeve, and Tifa and Yuffie were shopping for the bar, and he'd cleared his schedule just for this. He couldn't put it off any longer, so with a slightly shaky hand, he opened the book and set the pen to the paper.

_Zack_

_I know he was never a part of Avalanche, and most of my friends never even met him, but he's very important to my life, and I feel I need to write about him too. Zack was amazing, the big brother I never had, and even now I feel his loss profoundly, every day. I think about all the people we've lost, all the time, but just in my daily life, I find myself thinking, "Zack wouldn't approve of this," and "I can just imagine what he'd say." And more often then not, I find myself saying, "I wish Zack were here."_

_But he's not, and even though I'm not supposed to take his death on my shoulders, and even though I know that he did what he had to, it doesn't make the hurt go away. It doesn't make me stop thinking that he's not here, and it's my entire fault. I couldn't stop him, I couldn't save him, and I know if he hadn't been toting me around, he would have made it back to Aerith. If he hadn't been protecting me, Shinra never would have found him. How could anyone, even Zack himself, not understand why I carry the guilt for his death? I had to sit there and listen to Aerith talk about him, my heart aching for some unknown reason, and I looked in her eyes and said I didn't know him. It didn't matter if, in my mind I _was _Zack; it didn't matter at all. She died not knowing what had happened to him, and I was there to see him die. She watched me carry that sword every day, and fight with it without knowing it's true meaning, and she never said a thing. I just kept going, not thinking about anything but taking out Sephiroth, and I failed the last thing he asked me to do…_

_I let that bastard kill her. If it wasn't bad enough that his life was ended because of me, I couldn't even save Aerith. He wanted me to watch after her, he wanted me to be a hero in his place… I was supposed to live for both of us… and all I did was forget about him. Just thinking about it now hurts, and people wonder why I find it so hard to smile. For all intents and purposes, I killed my brother. _

_He was such a good man, wrapped up in something evil. He wanted to be a hero; he thought that being a SOLDIER was the way to do it. He saw how the First Classes were heralded, and he thought that was what he had to have to be a hero. But Sephiroth and Genesis never were heroes; they didn't understand what it took to be one. Zack's mentor Angeal was a true hero, and like Zack, the real things die in obscurity for people they loved. Genesis and Sephiroth weren't heroes, they were idols… and idols always fall. Aerith is one as well, and the only thing that gives my heart peace is that they are together now and they won't be lonely._

_I saw them, for an instant, after they forced me back to the land of the living. They were smiling and together, and I know they both wanted me to be happy. But they both left holes in my heart so big that it's taking me a long time to fill them. Tifa is helping, but she has her own place in my heart, and I don't want her to think she has to be more then whom she is to try and fill those holes. She's perfect the way she is…_

_Maybe part of my problem is I don't want the holes to be filled and maybe if I do fill them, I'll forget them, or they'll stop being important. I forgot Zack once already, what if I did again, then there would be no one left to remember him and he'd just pass into obscurity. That might be what I'm most scared of, that if I'm going to live for both of us, I can't let myself forget why I'm here. It's all because of him, if it wasn't, I'd probably be dead by now._

_I looked up to Zack, and liked him so much I wanted to be like him. It wasn't surprising that it was his I chose to mold myself after when my damaged psyche tried to remake itself. He was the man I'd always wanted to become, he'd done it, and he was from just as meager beginnings as I was. He was smart, funny, confident… someone who was admired by everyone. I hope, when he died, he knew that he didn't have to search for what made him a hero; he'd been one all along… he'd been mine all along._

_And now, as I sit here and write this, the obituary he deserved, but never had, I'm forced to reflect on everything he meant to me, and if I'm truly living my life in a way that honors him. I think that, I'm starting to try. I'm not there yet, not at all, but at least I smile every day, and send my time with a beautiful woman I love, and I play with my children. I look forward to the next day, rather then fearing it, and a let life lift me up when I'm feeling down. I'm trying to live everyday, to the fullest, like Zack did._

_Yeah Zack, we're friends… we always have been, and always will be._

_May 1_

The blond swordsman closed the book, for the last time… at least for a while, and took out a box, placing it inside, and sticking a ribbon on the top. He hid it up in his closet, so he could give it to Tifa on her birthday. He had it all worked out; at least, he hoped he did.

He heard boot falls coming up the stairs, and a knock sounded at his door. "Come in."

Vincent pushed the cracked door open and walked inside. "Reeve will be attending the party. Did you get it finished?"

Cloud nodded, "it's wrapped and hidden. So everyone knows, and is going to be here?"

The gunman nodded, "Yuffie is having a hard time keeping the secret though."

The swordsman laughed a bit and nodded, "for a ninja, she has a big mouth."

Vincent cracked a small smile and nodded a bit. "What do you think her reaction will be?"

"She'll probably write all her entries in one day, if I know her." They both heard talking down stairs and Cloud let out a breath. "Let's just hope Yuffie can keep the secret for a few more days."

"She will, it will make her crazy… but I am sure she will.

Cloud made his way downstairs and Yuffie and Tifa were putting the supplies away. The barmaid smiled as her lover came around the corner, and he couldn't help but do it right back. She placed a small kiss on his lips, and then sighed softly. "Remind me to go shopping more often, I never would have been able to get it all home if it wasn't for Yuffie."

"Glad to help! After all, you're letting me and Vincent hide from my Dad here! I have to repay you someway!"

"Since when am I hiding?" The gunman came around the corner and the ninja beamed, "you're my body guard, so you're hiding by default." She turned to Tifa and raised her eyebrows. "So, what's for dinner?"

"Spaghetti, then we have to open the bar." Yuffie cheered and Cloud and Vincent exchanged looks… it was strange what those girls could get them to do.


	11. Tifa's Entry 1: Aerith

_**Adventures in Living**_

I'm a really dork you guys, I thought Tifa's birthday was around the 15th of May, I dunno why, and it's not. When I looked it up, for the official Square biography page on the old website… it was the 3rd of May. So I fixed it… I can't believe I didn't realize that sooner. Anyway, I also got Final Fantasy Dissidia from Japan, and it's worth every yen of the 7000 I spent… (around 65 dollars). Once it's in English whenever that happens, buy it… Cloud is freaking cool! So… on with the story! We're switching POV this chappie! I hope I can write Tifa! Same rules apply!

* * *

**Tifa's Entry 1: Aerith**

Tifa woke up, rather late on the third of May, only vaguely realizing it was her birthday. Since she'd lost her family, it had become a sad occasion for her, and she wasn't really expecting anything. Cloud never remembered those sorts of things; in fact she was surprised that he remembered major holidays at all. She rolled on her back and realized that her boyfriend was missing, and part of her foggy brain that didn't know any better sat up in a panic. He'd disappeared before, and he always woke her up when he left in the morning. He was always gone by five o'clock, so she'd get up and make lunches for the kids. Really, she just wanted to see him before he left, but she did it under the pretense of peanut butter and jelly… before she was allowed to really care what he did.

It didn't even dawn on her that he might have let her sleep in because it was the anniversary of her birth, why would he do that anyway? She still had kids to get ready, and a bar to prepare for the evening. It wasn't until many scenarios ran though her head, all involving Cloud running from her again, when she saw the present on her dresser. She blinked at it, sure her eyes were deceiving her, and then she figured it had to be from the kids. It had to be pictures or something that they had wrapped themselves. The job could have belonged to an elementary school kid; she could see the messy tape and ragged edges from there. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and pulled her robe on, before padding over to the dresser. There was a note taped to the top, in Cloud's messy handwriting.

**Tifa**

**I know you're probably freaking out right now, so take a deep breath and calm down. I didn't leave, well not permanently. I took the kids to school, gave them lunch money, and cleaned the kitchen up. Breakfast didn't really go well. It's your birthday, and I put a sign up so people know we'll be closed tonight, and you can take the day off. I'm doing my route, but it's short, and I'll see you when I get home.**

**Love,**

**Cloud**

The barmaid read the note a few times, focusing on the last part. She heard him say it a lot, usually when they were being intimate or he wanted her to feel safe. It just seemed so… real, seeing it there, on paper like that. She then realized Cloud had tried to wrap the present by himself, and she was pretty sure he'd not done it before. Usually for Christmas, he had the presents wrapped at the store. One look from him and most of the little girls at the cash wraps would do most anything for him. The funny thing was, he thought it was just a service provided by the store…

She let out a little giggle and took the package off the dresser, and went back to sit on their bed. She looked at the note again, before taking it off and sliding it into the drawer on her nightstand. She kept a lot of things that Cloud gave her, little notes and things… even if they weren't important. They'd helped a lot when she was going though the time he was way, it helped her remember good things about him, so she wouldn't get angry around the kids.

Tifa let out a little sigh and gently tore the paper open, which wasn't easy with all the tape he'd used. When she got the paper off, she lifted the lid on the box and raised an eyebrow. Inside, was the journal she'd given him for his birthday. She picked it up and noticed there was a page dog-eared, and she opened it up. Inside, there was another note.

**Tifa**

**You're right, heroes needs to tell their story, but I'm not the only one who stood in front of Sephiroth, I'm not the only one to feel the fear, and smell the blood. We all did, and I hope that this book, started by me, and be added too, and finished by you, and our friends. Please, add your thoughts, and then pass it on to the next person. Read what I wrote if you want, or don't, it's up to you, but you need the opportunity just as much as I do.**

**Cloud**

Her pink lips made a little 'o' as she read what he'd wrote to her, and then she found an expensive pen in the box with it, a small bow wrapped around it as well. She smiled a bit and flipped to the front of the book, to see what her lover had said. She was surprised to see, that each entry wasn't his story, but his feelings and memories of all his friends. And how fitting it seemed that Aerith was first. She let out a little gasp as she read the heart felt words, and even being with him, and seeing him every day… she had no idea he hurt so much all the time on the inside. A few tears slipped down her cheek and stained the pages, before she could wipe them away. She finished Aerith entry and saw the next one was Barret.

"Alphabetical then," she whispered to herself as she turned past the bent page. She was going to do the same thing, and she decided she'd read Cloud's entry before writing her own. She wanted to write all day, stay in bed and just let the feelings come to her. She rarely had much time to herself, being a mother, even if it wasn't biologically. She felt like she needed to get all this out, and she'd be able to do it. Besides… if Cloud had cleaned the kitchen, she was pretty sure she didn't want to see it yet. She took the pen and started to write.

_Aerith_

_I know, that even now, there are people that think that Aerith and I couldn't have been friends. We both loved the same man, but I was more then willing to take the back seat and let her be with him. She was kind, and sweet… and he needed that. I wanted my best friend to be happy, and I never bore her any bad feelings. She was like a sister to me, and having lost my whole family, right before my eyes, having her taken from me was as bad as any of it. Sure she was my rival, but I loved her so much, I would have given up my true love to let her be with him. _

_But there was never the chance, because she was ripped away from us in the most violent of ways. Murdered, right there, I saw the blade go through her, and there wasn't anything I could do; that awful, demon of a man took her away, and it broke all of us. A little of each of us died that day, we all have the scar that was left when someone so pure and gentle was cut down so young. Cloud may think that he bears the brunt of the burden, because Sephiroth was trying to control his mind… but really, I wasn't frozen from his power, I should have moved. I should have thrown myself in the way… something. I should have done something. _

_We had to leave her so far away, and there are some times when I wish I could go sit by that lake and talk to her. Maybe she'd hear me there, but Cloud is the only one she talks to. Maybe I'm not in tune with the planet, or something, but I'd give anything to be able to make amends like he has. I want her to know that I love her, and miss her… and I could never be angry with her for having the courage to try and get Cloud's attention before me. Do you think she knows that?_

_There was a time though, that I was angry. Not with her, but with Cloud, because he was obsessed with her and leaving the rest of us behind. I never knew, until I read it, how he really felt, and why he acted the way he did. I thought he was in love with a girl beyond his reach, a memory can't hold you when things get tough… or when you're dying of an incurable disease. I was never mad at her though, I just wanted him to see me, see that we had a family… even if it wasn't a real one._

_There are times, when I think she might be looking down on us, and gently nudging Cloud in a direction that leads to his family and friends… no not friends. We aren't really friends at all; we're a hodge podge group of family, held together by bonds even stronger then blood. She was trying the whole time to remind him of that, and maybe, now that she's with Zack, she's all right with the idea that he's with me. I hope so, because I want her blessing more then anyone. I know she's gone, but her memory will always be with us, and I think that binds her close. So close, that death really can't even take her away completely. Sometimes, I can feel her, and I know she's there, I know she's helping._

_She saved Cloud, and everyone else with Geostigma. The water in the Church, it couldn't have been made by anyone else. We all have so much to thank her for, and she even continues to help us from beyond her watery grave. I will never be able to thank her enough, but I'll try. I know, she's always wanted her friends to be happy, so I will help them cherish life. She's already done a good job, and I'd be honored to help her. Please, rest in peace sister… you'll be with us as long as we all live… and beyond because what you helped me with is believing that death isn't the end, and I take comfort in knowing you aren't alone. _

_May 3_

Tifa let out a little sigh as she finished. Her cell phone, at that moment, let out a chirp alerting her to a text message. She reached over to the nightstand and flipped it open.

**Up yet?**

She giggled and saw the words on the screen, they were from Cloud, and even though he didn't like to text her, he obviously hadn't wanted to interrupt her relaxation. It was sweet.

**Yes, thank you for the gift!**

She sent that, and a few moments later, another came.

**NP, I'll be home at 2.**

She started pressing buttons again, she was pretty fast at this sort of thing, then pressed send again.

**I'll be waiting.**

She wasn't expecting another one to come, but she smiled even bigger when she read it.

**Love you, birthday girl.**

Tifa sighed, feeling content now, considering she'd woken up in a minor case of hysterics. She sent one last message, saying she loved him back, then put the phone down. If he was going to be home at two, that really didn't leave a lot of time to finish her entries. She took another look at her tribute to Aerith, and then flipped back to read Cloud's feelings on Barret.


	12. Tifa's Entry 2: Barret

_**Adventures in Living**_

Sorry it's been so long guys, but my computer had a major meltdown! I'm borrowing one right now, while mine gets fixed… if it can be fixed. Anyway, enjoy and same rules apply!

* * *

**Tifa's Entry 2: Barret**

Tifa thumbed her way back in the journal to read what Cloud had said about Barret. Truthfully, she was even closer to the big guy then he was, having spent a lot of time with him, even before Cloud had come back into her life. The words her blond lover said about him were accurate, and ideas for her own entry started to form in her head.

She bit her lip a bit and turned back past her first entry, taking a breath. With a little smile, she placed the pen on the paper.

_Barret_

_I lost my father, when I was young, and as I look at my life, I wonder if he would be proud of what I've done. My father was a lot like Barret, strong willed, honorable, and living for his family… so I guess I really just need to ask if he's proud of what I've done, and I'll know the answer. _

_It has been so natural, the father and daughter dynamic the two of us share. He protects me, Marlene… really everyone he can, like a concerned father, and his personality reminds me so much of my actual father, that he sort of filled that role once I got to Midgar. I'm pretty sure that's why I let a terrorist group hide out in my bar, I knew what they were fighting for was right, and Barret reminded me of all Shinra had taken from me. My home, my family… and Cloud… they took them away and I wanted to take something back._

_If I ever make it to my own wedding, I want him to give me away. I'm not sure if he thinks that Cloud and I belong together, but I know he'd support us if we made that leap. Cloud has done a lot of growing up, mostly with the help of Barret and Vincent really, so I think our gun armed friend would be happy to do it… at least I hope so!_

_He always puts a lot of trust in me, I know this because while he's off working, he leaves Marlene with me. I know, that it's a pretty safe place for her, with two of the famed Warriors of the Planet under the same roof, but honestly I know, it's hard for him to leave her, every day, and only come by for small visits between his excursions out into the world. I know, how hard it is to leave Denzel if we have some unpleasant business to take care of, and that's normally not very long. I see Marlene as my own daughter, so of course I'm happy to have her with me, but I just understand how much he must love her to try and provide for her future like he does._

_Barret really is the best fried someone could ask for. I think that of all the people in our group, but all for different reasons. He's a protector, and he does what he can to make everyone safe, whether it's his family, friends, town, or the planet itself, he has that nature within him, just to protect what he feels is important. This disposition however also makes him feel guilty when he can't save something, he thinks it's his fault, that he wasn't strong enough._

_Barret is one of the strongest people I've ever known, and I know he shoulders a lot of guilt for things that were really out of his control, but I think that need to make things right is what makes him such a caring friend and father. He wants the truth of what has happened to come out, he wants the wrongs to be righted… and he's not afraid to take the blame as long as the people effected know the truth behind their losses._

_I'm sure that I'm not the only one on the planet that looks up to him. He's a source of strength for a lot of people, and I think he's deserving of that. If more people in powerful positions were like him, then I think the world would be much better off. Sure, Rufus Shinra says he's protecting the planet, but I just can't help but think that he's got something else up his sleeve. Maybe his brush with death changed him, but he'll never garner the respect that Barret does, even from people that only know of him._

_Even though he gave up the reigns of leader to Cloud, I still think of him as the head of Avalanche. He might not have thought he was capable of leading us, but I think he could have. But that's another test of a leader, when to differ to someone who might know more about the situation. He's really an extraordinary man._

_May 3_

Tifa let out a soft sigh when she finished, laying the book and pen down for a moment to stretch her back. She wasn't sure if she could stay in bed all day, a little bit of guilt was starting to creep in. She should be up and doing something, taking a whole day to be lazy was really against her nature.

About that time, the door opened and a grinning ninja stood there, a tray in her hands. "Hiya! Happy Birthday! Vincent made you some food, he wouldn't let me near the stove. Though… you should teach Cloud the right way to clean something, because it took us this long just to get your breakfast ready! He can save the planet, but can't wash a dish to save his life!"

The bartender gave a little laugh as the ninja made her way inside the room, and much to her credit, she didn't fall until after she'd put the food down. She looked down at the plate and blinked. There were pancakes, eggs, bacon and what looked to be fresh orange juice. "Vincent made this?"

"Yeppers! Surprising huh? He can cook, who would have thought. He wouldn't make me anything though, what a spoiled sport. Anyway, what did Cloud give you for your birthday?"

Tifa held the journal up, and when Yuffie tried to snatch it, the martial artist pulled it back. "You can't read it until it's your turn."

"My turn? I can't even read and write, what are you expecting from me?"

"You liar, anyway… Cloud wants us all to tell our stories, and you know how he did it? He wrote little essays on us!"

"Oh great, his deep hatred of me will be recorded for future generations." The ninja hopped on the bed and stretched out across it like a cat, looking up at her best friend.

"I haven't read what she said about you yet, he did it in alphabetical order."

"Oh, was it hard to read what he wrote for Aerith?"

Tifa shook her head, smiling softly, "not at all… I think I understand them both a lot more now. She was our sister, so I love her no matter what. What he said was very sweet."

Yuffie's mouth hung open, and the barmaid reached over and closed it for her. The slip of a girl shook her head, her hair sticking to her face. "I know he's going to trash me… anyway, so we're all going to do this?"

The brunette nodded, "yes, and you're going to be next."

"Me? Why me?"

"Because you can see for yourself that Cloud loves you."

"Sheesh, it took him long enough to fall for the Great Ninja Yuffie!"

Tifa laughed, "you don't want Cloud to love you anyway… and I didn't mean that way."

Yuffie's cheeks turned bright red, "I know, I was just messing around. There isn't anyone that is worthy of the White Rose of Wutai anyway…"

"Except Vincent?"

"WHAT!" She jumped off the bed, springing nervously on her toes, her whole face red as a certain gunman's cloak. "I… I do not think Vincent is hot!"

"I didn't say that, did I?"

Yuffie's mouth opened, and she sputtered, before turning toward the door. "Whatever, I'll indulge you, only because it's your birthday. Vince and I are going shopping for stuff for your party tonight. Yes you're having one, and you'd better have fun!" She harrumphed and slammed the door, leaving Tifa to giggle softly to herself.


	13. Tifa's Entry 3: Cid

_**Adventures in Living**_

All right guys! My comp is back up and running finally, and I have Word reinstalled, so the updates will be better! Sorry I've been lacking, but I didn't even really have a computer I could borrow for a while… it was no fun! Anyway, same rules apply, enjoy!

* * *

**Tifa's Entry 3: Cid**

After Tifa's bantering session with Yuffie, the barmaid knew she had to get back into writing or she'd never have it finished in time for the party. She only had two done, and it was getting closer and closer to mid-morning. She figured her best friend would come back and bug her at some point, but right now she needed to concentrate…

And what she needed to concentrate on was another of her friend. She chewed her lip a bit as she read over what Cloud had said about Cid, and she let that fuel her creative juices. She really was enjoying this exercise, and for once, she felt like she could really show how much they all meant to her.

_Cid_

_What do I say about Cid? He's an amazing fighter, and even better pilot… and the best friend a person could ask for. He's also crude, loud, and I have to constantly remind him not to say anything bad in front of Denzel and Marlene. Sure, Marlene's own father is just as bad, but if he wants to corrupt her speech that's his own business, but having Cid do it would just get him some bruises from a solid metal fist._

_If Barret is like a father, Cid is like my uncle. My chain-smoking uncle that's way too fond of cursing for his own good. And even though he had a very rough and tumble image, he's still a great friend. No one would ever get hurt again if it was up to him, no child would loose their mother, and not a single young couple would be torn apart. And it hurts him when it does happen, because he wants to stop the evil. His dreams are fair beyond anything the rest of us has… he reaches for the stars, and the rest of us just try to keep the ground from falling out from under our feet._

_And I know he doesn't normally show it, we all know that he loves his friends, and he worries for us more then anyone. He's always there when we need him, and that's what makes him the best friend a girl could have. I just hope he knows how much we all appreciate him, because I know that sometimes if people ask a lot of you, you tend to forget to say 'thank you.'_

_So for all of us, I say thank you Cid Highwind. Thank you for coming to the rescue, for leading us when Cloud and I couldn't, for charging forward when all seemed lost. Thank you for being a friend, confident, uncle, father, and brother to us all. I know we all have a tendency not to say it when it needs to be said, so here now, I say it for all of us._

_And yes, he is crude and loud, but I wouldn't trade that for the world. It's just his way, and just like I'd never change any of my friends, and even though I complain about his word usage, the truth is, if he were to change, it would just be too weird, and I'd miss the old cantankerous Cid._

_And despite his exterior, he was there, and supported me through one of the toughest times of my life. He knew how much Cloud meant to me, even back then, and when he was lost to the Lifestream, and I thought he was dead, Cid was the most supportive, helping me keep my head straight while we looked. And then when we found him, alive but just barely, and out of his mind… he took everything over. He told me to stay and take care of Cloud, and they would worry about saving the planet. I'm sure the others didn't really understand why I had to take care of him, and maybe Cid didn't really know why either, but he did support me, without question._

_Maybe that's what makes him such a good friend. He trusts the people he cares about, even to a fault. It took him awhile to understand why Shera had "messed" up his only chance to get to space, but if he'd been selfish like a lot of Shinra were, he wouldn't have stopped, and he wouldn't have saved her. _

_And now Cid works hard to rebuild the planet, using his amazing airships to help any way he can. And you know, I'm not surprised, because he cares about this planet, and he cares about the future. When he got married to Shera after Meteorfall, he said something that I will never forget._

"_It doesn't take a fool to realize what they have after they'd stared evil in the face and lived. It doesn't take an idiot to make that leap, it takes a man with a lot to loose, and no more time to waste." I understand what he's saying, and it wasn't just about him and Shera, that comment was for all of us. A gentle push in the right direction, even on the happiest day of his life!_

_To Cid Highwind, I raise my glass to you. May the wind always be in your sails, and the sun at your back, because that is always the way that will lead you home._

_May 3_

Tifa smiled a bit, remembering the old idiom from her time as a child, her mother had always said that to her father when he had to go out to the Reactor for a long time, or off to some meeting. Most of the time she forced memories of her mother back, because they were just too painful to remember.

But now, after some time had passed, she was glad she had them. Sure they still hurt a little, but she could now look back as what an amazing woman her mother was and appreciate all she did in her short life.

The barmaid turned to Cloud's entry on… himself, and she felt warmth run through her chest. She was about to start reading when her cell rang. She picked the phone up and saw it was Cloud, and she smiled softly, flipping the phone open. "Cloud?"

"Tifa… how is your day going so far?" He sounded a little nervous. That just made her giggle happily, running a finger tip over the neat script on the page… his neat script.

"Wonderful, though I feel guilty staying in bed all day. I'm about to read the entry you did for yourself."

"Oh… really? Have you written anything?"

"Oh yes, a bit… three entries. I never knew how deep your feelings toward Aerith were Cloud. I'm sorry-"

"Tifa," he cut her off, his voice not gentle or mad, only pleading, "it's your birthday, sad things…"

"Cloud," she said just as gently, "it's ok. I know she meant a lot, I just didn't know how much. But it's all right, I'm all right… reading it wasn't hard, and I'm not angry. I'm happy that two of my best friends could have such a connection."

The swordsman was silent for a moment, and then let out a soft breath. "But you were right, I had to stop chasing a memory. She knew that two, and both Aerith and Zack lead me home, to you and the kids. I can never thank her enough."

The bartender giggled softly, "I think she knows. I just wish I could tell Zack that I'm sorry for the things I said."

Cloud let out a soft sigh, "I think he knows too Tifa, and he'd never hold that against you."

"You sound so certain."

"I am certain. He was a true hero, and he cared about people. He wouldn't stop just because you said something in anger."

"Sounds a lot like another spiky haired SOLIDER I used to know."

"Only in my head…" He said back, with a hint of mirth.

"That was enough for me. You'll always be my hero Cloud. Titles and uniforms don't matter."

"Aren't you supposed to be writing?"

"Hey! You called me, remember."

"Huh… I guess I did. I have a few more deliveries, I'll see you in a few hours."

"Okay… and Cloud?"

"Hmm?"

"Be careful…"

"I always am, relax, and don't feel guilty about it."

"All right, I'll try. I love you…"

"Love you too Tifa."

They hung up the phone and the fighter let out a little, happy sigh. Her eyes went back to the page, thinking about all the things she was going to write about her lover… and very best friend.


	14. Tifa's Entry 4: Cloud

_**Adventures in Living**_

Hello! Like I promised, I will try to keep really frequent updates now that my comp is fixed. I've been dying to write this entry, and I hope you all will enjoy it! Like always, same rules apply! Enjoy!

* * *

**Tifa's Entry 4: Cloud**

Then Tifa was finished reading through what Cloud had written for himself, she couldn't help but feel a great source of empathy for him. She honestly didn't know how he moved under all that emotional weight. He was so much stronger then he gave himself credit for, because she'd lived through a lot of it with him, and yet she had no idea what was going on inside that blond head of his.

She absentmindedly chewed on the cap of her pen before she realized she was doing it, then shook her head a bit to clear her mind. Cloud deserved to see what she thought to him, on paper and committed in writing for future generations. She took a deep breath and let it out, putting care into the first word she wrote.

_Cloud_

_There is something, almost ethereal about this man. He's slim, but powerful, not tall, but he makes up for it in shear charisma, he's beautiful, with fine features and a delicate mouth. And his arms, there is something about his arms that just makes you feel safe and at peace with the universe. There are few people lucky enough to experience that secure feeling, but his embrace is the closest thing I will probably ever get to heaven._

_He doesn't talk much, my best friend, truly a man of few words, but they tend to be profound when he does mutter them. And his eyes hold the burden of a million souls, all pushing on his heart to try and succeed in making it stop for good. If anyone could die just from the sadness and loneliness of life, it's Cloud Strife._

_But, somehow, he pushes through, even if some of his decisions are wrong, or maybe not wrong but not right either, he still manages to pull from some spring of power within him and save the day. He says he's always late, which is true most of the time, but you know… I prefer late to never. Sure, he thinks he can stop me from getting hurt, but I'm a big girl and I'm going to defend the people I love no matter what… so where does that leave my poor Cloud? Picking up the pieces of my rash actions, and telling him self my injuries are his fault. If I had known that my promise would cause him so much sadness, I wouldn't have made him make it._

_And yet, there isn't a single part of me that doesn't love that oath we made to each other. How many little girls get to have a Knight in Shining Armor? All right, so it's more like a Knight in Dark Blue Sweater Vest, but hey, I'm certainly not complaining. Remember those arms I mentioned? They're just as good to look at, as they are to feel around you._

_I didn't realize how much I truly loved him until I lost him. And I've lost him a lot, and every time he comes back, the tension in my heart just twists a bit more, and I feel a more profound love every time. It was hard, when I couldn't express my feelings to him, I couldn't hug him, or kiss him, because best friends didn't go past that line, and never in a million years did I think that he would return the feelings. He loved Aerith, a memory, and an even distant memory… me… couldn't compare to the wonderful, chaste and pure Aerith. We were total opposites, how could I compete with her? I didn't, and I let myself believe that if I loved him, then I would let him go so he could be happy._

_Then she died, and he almost did, and a horrible, heartbreaking series of events was put into motion that took my best friend away from me. So many times I've watched him fade away into the dark, left behind to watch his back. I know it so well, sometimes I think I've seen it more then his face. Well, I used to anyway, because he's come a long way. _

_People have always asked me, "Do you love Cloud?" Most of the time, I would never answer, since an answer had the potential to kill the one, tenuous, long-term relationship I'd managed to hang on to. Cloud has a way of diverting the subject when it comes to something that makes him uncomfortable. We all do it really, but he's got to be the master._

_But now, I'm not afraid anymore. I'm not afraid that he will hate me, and leave me, because he didn't. He told me, I told him, and here we are! He sent me a text message, something he really doesn't like to do, it takes to much time and he prefers the conversation anyway, just so he wouldn't disturb me. He smiles now, it's a little smile, but I've never seen anything more beautiful. He moves like the two-ton brick building has been lifted off his shoulders. He still carries the scars, but now, I get to kiss and soothe them nightly, and he'll always look at me with passion in his eyes. I get tingly just thinking about it._

_His scars are all over, down his chest, at his sides, his thighs, his arms… even one on his face, but I don't mind them, I think they are just as amazing as he is. Every one tells a story of survival. Especially the ones that nearly took him from us, those I give extra attention and love. I know I can't heal the physical scar, but I'm really trying to help him with the emotional ones, right underneath._

_I love him, I'll tell it to anyone now, because he knows, and he understands now. We really do have our own little family now, and what I didn't expect was… he'd seen us as a family the whole time. I was the one who didn't see it, but now I do… now I really do…_

_And now I know that he really feels it too. I can see it in his eyes, he's happy for probably the first time in his life, and no one deserves it more then he does. He was here to save us all, but really… who's been there to save him? I've tried, as much as I could, but there were other things in his heart that I couldn't heal, that he had to do it himself. And he did a wonderful job, and I'm glad I get to be a part of his wonderful journey._

_I love him, I always have, and I always will. This is for you Cloud, you deserve every happiness, and I'm glad you know that now._

_May 3_

She let out a soft sigh, an easy smile on her face. She loved that man so much; even the words she'd written seemed pale in comparison to the real thing. She flipped to Cloud's fifth entry when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," she said softly, and the door opened, and a black-gloved hand came in with a rather pink bag hanging off the index finger. She giggled, "it's alright Vincent, I'm in house clothes, you can come in."

He opened the door more, his hair slipping over his face, and he came over to the bed and set the gift bag down on the covers. "Excuse me for intruding," he said in his polite, gruff voice, "your neighbor said she wanted to drop this off, before the party."

Tifa nodded, "oh all right, thank you Vincent… oh hey… how did your shopping trip go."

The ex-Turk cleared his throat, looking up at her for just a moment before staring at the wall again. "Yuffie is not someone I really… like to take shopping. Her sticky fingers can add to an already stressful situation, but she behaved appropriately."

The birthday girl giggled softly, taking the bag and moving it toward her, then she nodded. "That's good, I told her she had to behave since I was letting her tag along."

"I appreciate that," he said, a bit of relief seeping through she noticed.

"You didn't enjoy the trip?"

"It was… adequate I suppose, they didn't have what we needed at one store, we had to go to multiple places."

"Did you like spending time with Yuffie?"

He blinked at her this time, and looked back over to her, not saying anything. The barmaid pressed a bit more, "you know, Yuffie needs a date to my party…"

Her comment was met with dead silence, and she pressed, "I think you should take her."

"That would be… inappropriate."

"Why?"

"I may not look it, but I am much too old to escort a mere slip of a girl."

"She's an adult, and so are you. I think you'd have fun."

"I don't have… fun."

"Sure you do, you can't trick me. Anyway, it's my birthday wish, you take Yuffie to the party so she isn't dateless."

He let out an exasperated sigh, "very well, as her friend."

"What else would it be?" She was gratified to see a tiny blush run over his features and he hurried from the room. "Oh those two so like each other… and they are both clueless!"

She opened the bag, pulling a rather risqué nightgown out of the pink wrapping. She blushed a bit, "oh my, what to they expect me to do with this?" She found a note, _you should have some fun with that hot boyfriend of yours before the party… you'll be too drunk afterward for any fun._

She smirked at herself, "hot boyfriend indeed…"


	15. Tifa's Entry 5: Nanaki

_**Adventures in Living**_

I know it's been so long, but with more computer problems then I can count, working two jobs, and commuting, I haven't had much time. I'm going to try and be better, I promise!

* * *

**Chapter 15: Nanaki**

Tifa slipped the nightgown back into the bag with a little smirk, and then turned back to her task at hand. She read over Cloud's entry, and then started her own.

Nanaki

_Nanaki is so wise for his years, and yet sometimes you can totally see how he's really still young. That's part of what makes him such an amazing friend, he can help get you out of trouble, then get you right into it again! I feel lucky to have him as my friend, not because he's the last of his kind, not because he's a hero, but because he makes everyone feel like they are needed, and that their friendship is wanted._

_To think of all the hardship he's endured, and it's a real credit to Bugenhagen that he managed to take a frightened, orphaned child of a different species and make him into such an upstanding, justice filled youth. I have a motherly instinct that won't quit, but I don't know if I could have done such a good job. _

A knock came to the door and the brunette blinked, looking up at the door. She was in the middle of her thought, but she didn't want to be rude either. "Come in," she said softly, placing her pen in the book to keep her spot, then smiled a bit when a spiky, yellow head came through the crack, and all she could see was crazy hair and bright, blue eyes. "I said, 'Come in,' didn't you hear me?"

"I did, but I know you're writing… I just wanted to let you know I'm back."

"Welcome back," she said softly, a gentle smile on her face, her eyes full of love. "But even if I'm writing, you should come give me a kiss hello."

She felt gratified when his cheeks still blushed a bit, and her handsome boyfriend opened the door more, and stepped inside, closing it behind him. The fighter smiled as he came over, still appreciative of how graceful he was, even when he was just walking. Tifa looked up and Cloud kissed her lips softly, then his mako washed eyes went to the package on the bed. "What's that?"

It was Tifa's turn to blush, and she grabbed the bag, "a practical joke. The neighbor brought it over, but it's not something I would wear…"

The swordsman raised an eyebrow at her, then reached out quickly, grabbing the present. The brunette hadn't expected it, so Cloud won, and now the naughty nightie was in his hands, and his face was bright red… but not from embarrassment. He smirked a bit, holding the lingerie up so he could look it over. Tifa got up out of the bed and snatched it out of his hand, but the agile male grabbed her around her waist, and pulled her close. "Are you mad at me?"

"No, but with your misbehaving, I don't know if you even deserve to see this on."

The blond smirked at her, "shouldn't you punish me?"

Tifa smacked his chest playfully, even though with her strength it was still pretty painful, but Cloud didn't flinch. She shook her head, "I should punish you, how about flannel pajamas up to my neck."

He chuckled a bit and kissed her hard, before slipping away. "I'm going to go check on the party preparations. I can't leave it all to Yuffie."

Tifa sighed a bit as he went out into the hall, and closed the door behind him. The bartender went to her dresser and tucked the negligee away, then returned to the bed. She'd finished her entry, then get dressed and go downstairs to write. She didn't think that being away from her friends would give her enough inspiration for her to write fitting tributes.

She moved to lie on her belly and opened the book again, picking up the pen once more to finish her entry on Nanaki.

_Despite not being around others like him, Nanaki still has a family. He views all the people of Cosmo Canyon as family; all his friends are family too. Even strangers that want to protect the planet are his family. It wasn't always like this, when we first rescued him from Hojo, he didn't trust us, or other humans that weren't the ones that he'd chosen to protect. _

_I could understand it, since he'd been so mistreated, and most thought him merely an animal, when I first saw him, I thought him a lion or something like that. I never would have imagined such a wise and capable person came in such a different packaging. He taught me not to underestimate someone on their looks, even if that person has four legs and fur._

_I also learned not to basic someone's maturity on his or her age. Sure, he's older then me physically, but emotionally he's more the age of Yuffie. In fact, because of him, I find myself being a bit harder then I should on Yuffie, because if Nanaki can be so advanced, then surely she could too. But then again, shouldn't I just not judge at all, and let each person be the person that they were ultimately meant to be? When it all comes down to it that, more then anything else, is what I've learned from my friend Red._

_I love everyone for the person they are, and can be… and I love Nanaki for opening my eyes to so many different people that I wouldn't have noticed if not for him._

Tifa smiled a bit and closed the book, capping the pen and moving to get her normal clothes on. She tucked the book under her arm and placed the pen behind her ear, before moving downstairs. She laughed a bit, seeing Yuffie and Cloud fighting over the decorations, and Vincent was serenely wiping the bar and completely ignoring the petty battle. She couldn't help but giggle, and pat the little, black book. This would be a record of these sorts of things, so even if the people here were lost… their emotions and thoughts would remain forever.


	16. Tifa's Entry 6: Reeve

**Adventures in Living**

Yeah I promised to be better, and right now I'm concentrating on this story and Timeless Sonata. I'll get back to the ones on hiatus someday, it's just when my plot bunnies leave, it's kinda hard to push myself. Anyway, here is the next chapter of Adventures, and since this is a Cloti/Yuffentine, I wanted to sneak a bit in this chappie, with lots of Reeve loving too! Enjoy, and as always I own nothing. The song at the end is "Angels on the Moon" by Thriving Ivory… amazing song. I changed "New York" to "Midgar" though… because New York wouldn't make sense.

* * *

**Tifa's Entry 6: Reeve**

It was an hour or so until she could actually get back to writing, and despite it being her birthday, Cloud and Yuffie had pushed her out of the bar, and forced her to write in her office. Something about surprises and the fact she was supposed to be writing caused the two to push her into the back room and close the door. Well maybe she should have stayed upstairs; at least she would have been more comfortable. A little sigh escaped her and she opened the journal reading over what Cloud had said. She smiled softly, and began to write.

_Reeve_

_When we first realized there was a puppet master behind Cait Sith, and who that puppet master was attached too… I couldn't forgive him. Cloud and I had been out on a wonderful date, going around to the attractions of Gold Saucer, thinking that we were safe. We were sadly mistaken when the Key to the Ancients was taken from us, and we found out Marlene and Elmyra were also taken, as hostages to make us cooperate._

_Then, he started to help us, giving us inside information to what was going on in Shinra, so we could help the most people. He even risked his own, expensive, robot to help us get the black materia. Then in the aftermath of Meteor, he formed an organization to try and protect the people that were left, using volunteers and hope, rather then paid mercenaries and fear… The WRO is the police force that SOLDIER should have been._

_He's not considered a hero of the Jenova War, and I think he deserves that title. He saved many people when he evacuated Midgar, taking hold of Shinra in order to try and save as many people as he could. He saved Marlene and Elmyra by moving them to Kalm… and for that I will be forever grateful._

_Unlike the other executives of Shinra, Reeve genuinely cares about people, and he wants them to be safe and happy. He thought Mako energy was the way to go, and when it was discovered that it was killing the planet, he funded searched for other power, and provided protection for the people that came out to try and find a better way._

_I know that, sometimes, he questions his actions during the war, because it was a robot out on the front lines, and not him… and the rest of us risked everything to stop Sephiroth… while he was safe. But I know it isn't battle prowess and number of kills that make a hero, it's intentions and what lies in their heart. He's just as much of a hero, even more so because he tired to stop loss of life, when some of us just added to it. I feel honored to call the man behind the Cat as my great friend, and I know he will succeed in his need to protect the people of this planet. He's a good leader… and a great friend._

Tife stretched after she finished the entry, then flipped to Cloud's next entry, frowning a bit to see she had to write one for herself. She was wondering if she could skip that one when a huge crash came from the bar. She was up and out of her chair in a moment, running out to see what was going on.

She blinked when she came around the corner, Vincent and Cloud were carrying a jukebox, and apparently Yuffie had been trying to help, but because of that, they'd dropped the heavy thing and broke some glasses on the bar. When they all realized that she was standing there, they stopped as if they'd been doing something wrong, and Yuffie hurried to grab the broom and dustpan.

Tifa just smiled though as Vincent and Cloud maneuvered the red machine into position, she'd had an inexpensive on before, but it had gotten demolished when Cloud had had to… subdue… a customer one night that had tried to get to friendly with her. The blond looked at her sheepishly, "I guess you found us out…"

"Is this the reason I couldn't be in here?"

"Um… yeah…" He rubbed the back of his head, like he always did when he was unsure. Tifa crossed the bar and grabbed him, kissing him softly.

"Thank you Cloud," she whispered softly, sighing a bit as his arms wrapped around her to hold him tight. She vaguely realized that Yuffie was messing with the machine, until the clang of a Gil coin hit the reservoir of the empty jukebox and a song started to play.

_Do you dream, that the world will know your name  
So tell me your name.  
And do you care about all the little things,  
Or anything at all.  
I wanna feel, all the chemicals inside,  
I wanna feel.  
I wanna sunburn, just to know that I'm alive,  
To know I'm alive._

Yuffie grinned and pushed the two of them toward the small dance floor, and even though Cloud was blushing a bit, he took her hand and started to sway with her, since he didn't really know how to dance, but he'd seen it done before… Tifa grinned as she let him lead her, looking up into his face, and seeing he was concentrating way too much about doing things right, and he wasn't going to enjoy it.

_Don't tell me if I'm dying, 'cause I don't wanna know.  
If I can't see the sun, then maybe I should go.  
Don't wake me cause I'm dreamin' of angels on the moon.  
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon._

_Do you believe, in the day that you were born,  
tell me do you believe.  
And do you know, that every day's the first,  
of the rest, -- of -- your life._

Tifa reached up and kissed him softly, and she could feel the tension in his muscles drain away, his movements becoming more natural as she led him into a gentle sway. He broke the kiss and moved his forehead to rest against hers, his eyes only half open as he looked into her eyes. "No one could possibly make me as happy as you do."

The barmaid smiled softly at him, her eyes misting over at the emotion running through her body. "Yeah, I know what you mean… I love you Cloud."

"I love you too…"

_Don't tell me if I'm dying, 'cause I don't wanna know  
If I can't see the sun, then maybe I should go.  
And don't wake me cause I'm dreaming of angels on the moon  
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon._

The birthday girl glanced over and saw that Yuffie had pulled a frowning Vincent onto the dance floor, and she was trying to get him to dance with her, and he wasn't going for it. Tifa smiled and looked at him, shaking her head. "Remember my birthday present."

The tall gunslinger frowned and looked at the martial artist, "it is not yet the party."

"Doesn't matter, dance with her."

Yuffie let out a "yay" and Vincent wrapped an arm around the ninja and took her hand, starting into a gentle sway. He was looking everywhere but at Yuffie, but she didn't seem to care, she was just happy to be dancing. Though when she laid her head on his chest, Tifa nearly started laughing at the surprised look on the crimson gunman's face.

_This is for one last day in the shadows, and to know a brothers love.  
This is to Midgar City Angels and the rivers of our blood.  
This is to all of us, to all of us._

_So don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know.  
If I can't see the sun, then maybe I should go.  
Don't wake me cause I'm dreamin' of angels on the moon.  
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon._

Tifa brought her attention back to Cloud, and the world fell away until it was just the two of them, and everything was perfect. Sure he didn't know how to be fancy, and maybe he was rather awkward most of the time, but he was the only one that she would ever love. She knew that, if something happened to him, she'd never be able to move on.

It was like that, right? When someone lost their soul mate, they were never able to recover? She looked up at him and he smiled at her, it was a small smile, just for her, and it chased all the bad thoughts away. Then he started to whisper to her, the lyrics that went with the song, his voice was light as he half sang along.

"Yeah, you can tell me all your thoughts, about the stars that fill polluted skies.  
And show me where you run to, when no one's left to take your side.  
But don't tell me where the road ends, cause I just don't wanna know, No I don't wanna know. No.

Don't tell me if I'm dyin.  
Don't tell me if I'm dyin."

She grinned and kissed him; she didn't know he could sing! She'd have to make him do karaoke one night, just the two of them since she had a machine for Seventh Heave Karaoke night on Friday. He'd ever done that before, and he seemed a bit embarrassed she caught him singing the words, but she didn't care… it was cute.

When the song ended, she noticed that Yuffie and Vincent kept close for longer then she thought they would, and the barmaid had to smile. She Looked back to Cloud and pulled him close, whispering softly, "best birthday ever."


	17. Tifa's Entry 7: Tifa

_**Adventures in Living**_

OMG I know, I dropped off the planet, but I got laid off from work, and now, between trying to find a job, I'll have time to write! Expect a lot from me, especially here, in Adventures, and in Timeless Sonata. I also just finished FF13, so I may start something there once I do some work on my two 7 fanfics. Anyway, Tifa's chapter about Tifa, I'm sorry I suck so badly at writing her. After this, it will be Yuffie, which is MUCH easier for me to write! Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

**Tifa's Entry #7: Tifa**

After their dance, and a few merciless jokes at Yuffie's expense for dancing with Vincent, the barmaid headed back up to her room to start her next entry. This one wasn't going to be easy, trying to put thoughts of herself on paper… she wasn't really looking forward to it. First, she was interested to see what Cloud had written about her, so she left them to work on their party preparations, and she locked herself in her room.

It wouldn't be locked forever, she just needed some quiet to try and deal with the emotions she had popping up. Should she write about her mother and father? What about Nibelheim? Should she just focus on her life here, and not trudge up all the old feelings she'd made a habit of avoiding.

She turned to the entry Cloud had written for her, and when she looked at the date at the bottom, she realized it had been the day when he'd finally told her his feelings. She remembered that day so clearly, she'd been doing laundry between cleaning up after Christmas, and he'd looked so… lost. She'd felt that horrible knot form in her throat, thinking he was going to leave again, when he grabbed her and blurted out the most treasured words in the world.

The barmaid started at the top of the entry, her finger lightly tracing the careful script on the page. Even her name looked beautiful in Cloud's simple, elegant script. She started reading, emotion already coming up in her chest, the simple words to his tormented feelings made her want to run to him right then, feeling part of it had to be her fault for not knowing…

Cloud had been in love with her for so long, and yet it took losing him the first time to realize how much she really loved him. When she was finished, she sighed softly, tears standing in her eyes. It was surreal reading all his private emotions, seeing it written out so plainly… she never knew that he saw her as such an angel…

She flipped to her next page and took a breath, placing the pen to the paper and pushing the anxiety away. If Cloud, a man with deep emotions and no way to express them, could write something so amazing for her, then she could explain her history and emotions too.

_Tifa_

_What can I say about myself? I'm not sure, and even though my goal is to complete my entries before the end of my birthday, I find it hard to write this, even now. Cloud, how did you do it? You're so quite, and not very emotive to most people, but you can write of you emotions so plainly. I've been running from mine for so long, I don't even know if I can describe them._

_When asked, I am an affectionate person; I love to care for others, especially those that have no one. Maybe that was why I have a passion when it comes to helping orphans, because I know what it feels like to be one. At the time I lost my father, I found myself spiraling into despair, and even though I didn't know Cloud had been taken, and I cursed SOLDIER everyday, I still looked for his name in the paper… everyday._

_That is something I do hold, hope… if I were to categorize my role in our group, it would be that. I held out hope, even as Aerith died, even as Shinra won, even as we did wrong things, and right things… even as we faced our own mortality, seeing Meteor descending, facing down Sephiroth, I still had hope._

_That hope came from the belief in Cloud, and my belief that people could band together and help each other. I've always believed that, and I tried not to lose that feeling. Sometimes, it slips away, but eventually, it always comes back, when Marlene looks to me with love, or Cloud comes home and seems happy, that is what I live for…_

_That is my hope that the world will always end up right in the end._

_I could go through all the terrible things that have happened in the past, but that's not me. I will say that every moment is precious, every second of every day that we are alive and together is a blessing, and it took a life time of tragedy compressed into a few, short years, to remember that. It's a hope and prayer that I can send this feeling to my children… all my children. The ones I will someday carry, and the ones I carried of the street and into this house. And I know that the one person that I always have believed in, believes this in me, and it gives me courage._

_Courage for the future, courage to forget the past… the courage to live each new day with the same zeal I did the day before, and to love like it's the last day I'll be here._

_Everyday is the first day of the rest of your life, and every day that passes adds to the person that we are._

_This day, on the day of my birth, I look at how fortunate I am to have people downstairs that love me, and to have loved ones working to make me happy, because when their birthdays come around, they know I will do the same for them…_

_Because that is what it means to be family, and family is what I know best._

She sighed softly and closed the book, leaning back against the headboard and closing her eyes. Pictures of all the people she cared about danced before her eyes, and even though she'd dreaded writing the entry for herself, she actually was gad for it.

It made her remember things that sometimes, she'd forget… those base things that made her the person she was, in moments of melancholy or sadness; sometimes those things would slip away.

There was a knock at her door and she closed the book, getting up to open it. Cloud stood there, a frown on his face. "We were trying to clean up the glass we broke and Yuffie got impatient…" His hand was being held at a strange angle and she blinked, seeing the blood pooling in his hand. She grabbed his good hand and pulled him in, taking him to the bathroom. "Teef, it's alright, it's just a cut…" He'd certainly had worse injuries, but she wouldn't have any of that. With her journal entry fresh in her mind, she wanted to tend to the wound… it was a small way she could show him that she loved him.

The fighter grabbed the first aid kit and got a towel, pressing the cloth to his hand to stop the bleeding a bit before she could bandage it up. He looked up at her with soft eyes, then reached to her face with his good hand and wiped a tear from her skin, one she didn't know she'd even shed. She took in a sharp breath of surprise and her eyes went to his, and he pulled her down closer, his lips only a hairsbreadth away from her own. "Tifa," he whispered, "I'm alright, and it's just a scratch."

"I know," she whispered, "just another scar… right? Another that I can kiss and try to sooth since I wasn't there to save you… you save me so much Cloud…" Her breathing was shaky, and his eyes turned sad. He knew she'd probably get a bit emotional writing in the journal, he had and he wasn't what someone would call emotive, but the worry in his face was obvious. She'd be able to see it, even if she didn't know him so well.

"This is a different scar," he whispered to her, letting his lips brush hers, lighting her skin with a soft flush as he did it. "This isn't going to kill me, and I got it being stupid preparing for your birthday party. I'll look at this one and remember our first dance to that jukebox, it's a happy scar… don't cry…"

She looked at him like he was crazy, then she laughed a bit, a little sob carried with it, then she moved to bandage his hand, adding a cure spell to help it along. "Happy scar? Is there such a thing?"

The blond reached out once he wasn't bleeding anymore and pulled her to his lap, since he was seated on the edge of the bathtub, and he held her close. "Yes, all my scars are happy ones. They didn't kill me, I'm still here, and can come home to you and the kids… they made me stronger, and they helped me see what I really needed in my life. I don't regret as single one, since they all brought me to you."

Tifa swallowed past the emotion closing her throat and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his solid shoulders, sitting square on his lap. His hands came up her legs to rest on her back, holding her close to try and stop her crying. It was her birthday, she should be happy. While he didn't regret coming to her to help him bandage himself up, he wondered if that was really the wisest idea. With the way she was kissing him, his plans would be delayed, and she wouldn't get much writing done.

When they pulled back for air, she didn't move far, and his name tumbled from her lips in a breathy question, wondering what he wanted to do. If they weren't going to indulge in each other, then they should probably go back to what they were doing and not keep making out in the bathroom.

The heat in his eyes had her kiss him again, and he didn't think a few minutes alone with his beautiful girlfriend would cause the world to end, or a certain party to not go off without a hitch. He lifted her up, wrapping her legs around his waist and he carried her to the bed. Before he plopped her down to ravage her, he was careful to move the journal and her pen to the bedside table.


End file.
